Vitamins

Two posts back-to-back??  Whoa!  No, I'm not made of free time - that's hardly the case.  Yesterday's post was written several weeks ago, I just finally had the courage to post it yesterday... and I wrote today's post about a week or so ago to get a head-start.  I haven't had much free time since!  Before I dive into this post, though, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who read yesterday's post for not pouring sympathy on me - that's not what I want and not why I wrote it, so I really appreciate that everyone picked up on that.  I was aiming for shining some light for others in similar experiences, and it sounds like I may have accomplished that for some, and I'm really glad.

Today we're getting back to the theme of this blog - natural health choices - and this is a popular question!

This has been the topic of the year so far when it comes to questions people ask me.  Granted the year is only a few weeks old, but still.  It’s come up quite a bit!  More and more people are wanting to make healthier lifestyle choices, but not many know where to start.  Except for vitamins – that’s something we all have been told we need to take, and something everyone is fairly familiar with.  So I’ve been asked about them a lot – what to take, how much to take, etc.

But what are vitamins, anyway?  If someone asked you that right now, how would you respond?

Hmm… well, I think all I would have been able to come up with is, “They’re something our bodies need to stay healthy.”  But why?  How?  Where do they come from?  Are we getting enough?  Are some more important than others?

So I delved into this topic a bit deeper.  There are a lot of branches to follow on it, too!  So I’ve decided to write a series.  Today I’ll tell you about what vitamins are in general, and then each post after that will target a specific one.  Then later, when you’re thinking, “Man, sure would be nice to take something that would lift this mental fog, what was it that Jami’s blog said is good for that?” you can simply go back and look up Vitamin B!  If you’re getting enough vitamin B to remember that, anyway… ;-)

But I’ll get there in future posts.  Right now, let’s focus on what vitamins are in the first place.

To quote Wikipedia:

A vitamin is an organic compound required by an organism as a vital nutrient in limited amounts.  An organic chemical compound (or related set of compounds) is called a vitamin when it cannot be synthesized in sufficient quantities by an organism, and must be obtained from the diet.

So basically we all require vitamins as important parts of healthy and complete nutrition, and we get them through our diet because our bodies can’t produce it on their own.  Did you know most animals can create their own vitamin C in their bodies, without having to consume it through their diet?  Too bad we can’t, since it’s so beneficial to a healthy immune system!

So where do we get vitamins?  Well, each vitamin is different, and currently there are thirteen different vitamins that are recognized.

Vitamins are classified by their biological and chemical activity, not their structure.  Thus, each “vitamin” refers to a number of vitamer compounds that all show the biological activity associated with a particular vitamin.

Say what??  So “vitamin” is kind of an umbrella term, and there are a lot of different chemical compounds that behave differently (or offer us different kinds of benefits) and are each grouped under a generic alphabetic category: Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Vitamin C, and so on.  Some act like hormones, some regulate cell or tissue growth, some act as antioxidants, and most of them help enzymes catalyze metabolism.

These all sound pretty important!  So where do they come from, and how much do we need to be healthy?

Well, that’s where this series is going to come in handy.  I’ve decided to address each one individually and you can decide for yourself if you think you’re lacking in certain ones or not.

Stay tuned!

An Update On My Journey...

I realized I haven’t given an update on my postpartum recovery…  I’ll admit, though, I hadn’t intended to give you an update, since I don’t like to really shine a spotlight on that whole subject, but I feel like I’m finally at a place where I can say I’m good again.  I’m (mostly) ME again.  I’ve found a lot more balance, inner peace, maybe even joy.  I’ve read about other women’s struggles with postpartum depression, or depression in general, and how so many of them are at a loss for what to do.  My heart goes out to them.  It’s a terrible hole to be stuck in…  And I realized I should probably stop keeping all this to myself and share the rest of my story, because maybe I can provide some insight and maybe even some inspiration for anyone else in this same boat…  Because nobody should have to feel the way I was feeling.  Plus, if it weren't for some of the people in my life that shared their deep dark secrets, I may not have ever been able to figure out how to get help and how to move forward.  Even though it's hard, it's important to be honest, both with ourselves and with others.  So here I go...

I left off with my post in December, explaining that I had been going to counseling, joined support groups, and learned to put my experience into perspective with things that are just out of our control, and I used Justin and the loss of his father at a young age as a reminder that we do grow stronger as people from our tragedies.

But I just wasn’t feeling stronger.  A little bit, maybe, but not enough.  Not enough to be the mother I wanted to be, or the wife I wanted to be, or the PERSON I wanted to be.  And there were so many things happening in my mind and body that seemed so out of my control.  As much as I wanted to focus on the positives, like how Harlee is healthy and alive, and how this whole experience WILL ultimately lead me to a stronger me, I just couldn’t stay focused on any of that.  I’d revert back to anger, how unfair it all is that I wanted this wonderful birthing experience and got none of it.  There was nothing beautiful about it.  And then all this mess of confusion would set in, like how other people got to have wonderful birthing experiences, or would even have c-sections and thought nothing of it.  How can anyone grow a baby for 9 months, all by themselves, and then all of a sudden not do a damn thing to bring that child into the world except lay there, get cut open, have that baby yanked out of them and taken away, and then have to deal with recovery of MAJOR SURGERY while at the same time be expected to nurture this brand new baby??  How can any of this be a good thing??  Ya know, I can honestly say I’ve come a long way in the last 17 months, but that’s still one thing that’s beyond me.  Harlee’s entrance into this world was horrible for me.  His birth day was the worst day of my life.  And it breaks my heart that I feel that way about a day that’s supposed to be special for him…  I hope that as the years progress I can look past that, but I think it’ll forever be true… Just like September 22^nd will forever be the worst day of my husband’s life – when tragedy strikes, there will forever be an anniversary.  A pang of hurt, a reminder of the grief and fear you went through, every passing year.

There are a lot of people, namely those that see their c-sections as wonderful, that don’t get why I feel the way I do, just like I don’t get why they feel the way they do.  I think part of my healing process has been accepting my feelings for what they are, negative or positive - they’re MY feelings, and I shouldn’t try to change them, because they’re who I am.  But I do need to try to outweigh the hurt and all the negative feelings with more positive ones.

It’s hard to do when your mind has taken over and, for lack of a better description, has a mind of its own.  Here I’ll tell my story of my healing, naturally.

I swear I’ve felt schizophrenic some days.  And I hid this from my counselor.  I kept having these intruding violent and gruesome visions and images come through my head as I was going about my daily activities that I swore if I told anyone about they’d have me locked up in a heartbeat.  It was that bad.  I felt scared, I felt like I was losing it, I felt like I was going off the deep end…  And I didn’t feel safe telling ANYone – not Justin, and not my counselor, even though it was her job to help with things like that… I was afraid that if I told her she’d call an asylum and have me picked up.  I’m not kidding.  It was that bad.  Then one day a friend of mine who’d had a similar experience as mine (well, probably worse actually, in my honest opinion…) and had a similar recovery process ended up telling me that SHE had had visions that scared the crap out of her too.  I was so blown away… You mean to tell me I’m not alone?  I might not get locked up if I share this with someone?  I can be okay after all?  I am eternally grateful to her for sharing this with me.  I hope you’re reading this right now, you know who you are, and I can’t thank you enough, I may not have expressed this the day you told me, but you may just have saved me from completely losing it.  I don’t know what I would have done if I let this go on any longer, suppressing it, but thank you for coming into my life that day and applying the brakes.

So, I ended up telling my counselor.  This was AFTER Harlee’s 1-year birthday.  I’d been suffering with this for a year.  I remember her staring at me, taking it all in, weighing the severity of this situation that she had no idea was this out of control.  And I remember her saying that too – “Thank you for telling me this, I wish you had said something sooner, I didn’t realize how deep your depression was…”  Like I said in the last post about all this – I wanted to hide it.  I didn’t want anyone to know how f!@#ed up I was inside, and apparently I was so enveloped by my façade that I managed to fool my counselor.  Until I finally got the balls to open up all the way to her.

Then she suggested I get on Zoloft, and she suggested it tenderly and hesitantly as she knew how adamant I am about “saying no to drugs” (I spent enough time practically screaming to her and crying about how ho.rr.i.ble. the epidural was for me and how getting it tore me to my core in self-disgust because it went against everything I ever believed in and stood for).  So her suggesting an actual pharmaceutical antidepressant kind of stopped me in my tracks…  And as that thought processed in my mind, the last remaining ounce of passion and strength I had in me, buried inside, that was clinging to hope jumped up, stamped her feet and said NO.  YOU SAY NO TO DRUGS AND YOU WILL ALWAYS SAY NO TO DRUGS.  I immediately asked her what my natural options are, stressing that pharmaceuticals are an extreme last resort for me, if ever even an option at all.  She said exercise, eat healthier, some supplements to take are St. John’s Wort and 5-HTP (a neurotransmitter), along with vitamins B (complex) and D to start with.  I jumped on all of that right away.  The 5-HTP didn’t work as well though, but St. John’s Wort sure did!  I also took Juice Plus along with avoiding bad carbs and “foods” with additives, preservatives, and other harmful chemicals (although that’s really hard to do and I didn’t do it perfectly, but someday I hope to get there).  I jogged every night pushing Harlee in his stroller.  I lost weight.  I felt GOOD again.  All done naturally and WITHOUT the aid of Zoloft, thank you very much.

Around October I wasn’t feeling a strong connection with my counselor anymore.  I felt like I was just going in to chat, not really making progress.  I didn’t reschedule with her, figuring I’d ride the current on my own and see how I did.  I had seen my naturopath in St. Louis and she regulated my St. John’s Wort dosage as well as prescribed me some homeopathics (which I shared with you in my post about homeopathy), and I could tell a huge difference from that.  But I still knew I wasn’t 100%.  The intruding visions had subsided quite a bit (thank God), but I was still feeling a strong disconnect.  I still could not accept that Harlee was my son.  It’s weird to say that out loud, and I’m sure a lot of people reading this are probably thinking I’m crazy, but I felt like I was still waiting to give birth to him.  I didn’t bring him into this world, a man with a scalpel did.  I know I carried him for 9 months, but that was only half the battle, in my head.  Bringing him out of my belly and into my arms was the other half, and I missed it all.  None of my hormones released when he was born.  None of the oxytocin to feel that love and connection I hear other mothers talk about when they first meet their babies.  I loved him, sure, but not the way I expected to.  Or wanted to.  Maybe that’s where a lot of my depression stemmed from.  This tiny human came into my life and completely turned it upside-down, and I can’t grasp the concept that he’s even MINE.  And that’s not fair.

I’m still feeling that way, but finally feeling like I’m getting somewhere.  I discovered a new therapist via divine intervention (which rekindled my long-lost belief in divine intervention) and she’s been awesome.  We were in to see Harlee’s pediatrician in November and I found her brochure in the waiting room, just shortly after I was thinking I wanted to get back into counseling again, since I wasn’t feeling like I was quite myself yet.  Turns out she’s exactly the person I need to be talking to right now.  She's incredible!  She shares my desire to avoid Western medicine, has knowledge of energy work and plans to administer it (another long-lost belief I was hoping to regain soon), and doesn’t have kids, which, in a weird way, is refreshing.  My previous counselor had been through a traumatic c-section, so she could relate to me.  Now that I’m seeing this new lady, I’m finding that it feels like I’m getting a break from dwelling so much on my trauma and instead I get to focus on the grand scheme of things and heal myself beyond the trauma, like I’m tapping into my soul or my higher self.  The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter!

So things really are going well.  I've been a lot happier, I've been able to focus on enjoying Harlee and his presence in my life more than focusing on HOW he came into my life, I'm actually looking forward to celebrating his second birthday this summer instead of fearing horrible memories resurfacing, and a VERY SMALL part of me has been entertaining the thought of another child.  But don't get your hopes up too high.  On a side note it's driving me CRAZY being asked by EVERYBODY when baby number two is coming along.  My answer has been, "We're building a house this summer, so that's our baby number two right now."  Which is the truth.  But only part of it.  What I would LIKE to say is, "I'm scared to death of having baby number two, I'm still struggling with accepting that I have a baby number ONE, and I'd like to have all this shit figured out before I bring another human into this world and risk sending my psyche through another train wreck!  Thanks for asking!!"  Ah, sorry, needed to get that off my chest.  But, someday, I hope I am in a better mental state.  I trust that I will be, eventually.  It would be kinda fun to have two kids, I guess...

Anyway.  That’s my update, in case you were interested.  And in case you or someone you know is battling depression, hopefully this part of my story helped with the journey, or provided some inspiration and encouragement that healing from it naturally CAN be done.

(Kinda) Guilt-Free Friday: Amaretto Cake

I love birthdays.  They’re my favorite holiday.  It’s a celebration of YOU!  A special day that’s all about you, all for you.  You rock, you're awesome, you’re special, you’re important, and you deserve a holiday every year!  And I think the older you get, the more you should celebrate.  It’s that much longer that you’ve been on this earth being your awesome self!  That’s definitely reason to celebrate!

And this cake is a great dessert to add to your celebration of you!

And I totally winged it (winged? Wung? What’s the proper tense to that word, grammar nerds?).  I combined three different recipes to make this one.  The original recipe was brought to my attention by a couple of friends who raved about the Amaretto Divine cake.  Which is like 1000 calories a slice.  But apparently it’s so amazing that it doesn’t matter how many calories are in it, it’s totally worth every one.  The recipe sure did LOOK divine!  I still don’t know what it tastes like though, since I tweaked it.  And “tweaked” is putting it very lightly.  I Paleo-ized it!  This is the first time I Paleo-ized something!

I found a paleo vanilla cake recipe on Pretty in Primal that got really good reviews, so I used that as my base, and added and subbed here and there, switching back and forth from that recipe to the Amaretto Divine recipe, and hoped for the best.  As for the icing, I found a Paleo maple cashewbutter icing recipe that sounded yummy, so I went with it.  It really was yummy – I’ll be making that again for sure!

Here’s my version of a great (adult) birthday cake, which, by the way, only makes one cake.  If you want a pretty layered cake, make two batches of this recipe.  Oh and another tip, make it the day before.  We found that the leftovers were even better than the fresh cake!  (My apologies to our friends who enjoyed this cake with us the day it was made...)

Another fabulous phone picture...

4 eggs

2 tsp vanilla extract

¾ cup amaretto liqueur

½ cup palm sugar

½ cup coconut flour

½ cup almond flour

½ cup non-dairy amaretto coffee creamer

½ tsp baking soda

¼ tsp salt

1 packet Stevia for added sweetness (you can omit this if you want)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

In a large bowl, beat the eggs, vanilla, amaretto, and sugar.  Add the flours, creamer, salt, and baking soda.  Mix together until a batter forms.  Grease an 8x8 inch baking pan and pour in the batter.  Bake for 20-30 minutes until a knife or toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean.  Cool for one hour and frost with the icing:

Icing:

1 cup cashew butter (or 2 cups cashews in the food processor for 2-3 minutes)

1 cup coconut butter

1/3 cup pure maple syrup

1/4 cup amaretto liqueur

1/2 cup non-dairy amaretto coffee creamer

Mix all ingredients with a hand mixer until smooth. 

I melted a giant Hershey’s dark chocolate candy bar and drizzled it over the icing and topped with crushed Heath bits.  If anyone reading this is super strict paleo, don’t yell at me, I know there’s soy and bad stuff in the chocolates I used and I feel mildly guilty about this… and I AM trying to steer away from using chocolates with soy products in them, but I’m hoping to let this one slide just this one time.  Maybe next year I’ll have an alternative!

Intuition

Just wanted to blog what was on my mind today, which is, obviously, intuition.  I got to thinking this topic might be found helpful by a lot of people, too, so I figured I might as well blab about it a little bit.

I’m not trying to get all “out-there” or anything like that, but I do believe we all have a sixth sense – a natural instinct that guides us through life.  That little voice in our heads that tells us right from wrong, or that chill up your spine when you feel danger is lurking, or when you wake up in the morning just with a good feeling about the day ahead.  That’s intuition.  I go off of it a lot.  I make a lot of decisions based on it, basically by trying to stay in tune with my body as best as possible.

I feel it’s a good time to remind you all that I’m not a doctor.  I don’t have any formal training as a holistic health consultant or anything like that, besides the training I have in holistic body work, so if anything I’m telling you doesn’t sit quite right with you, it probably means that the information I have at that time isn’t exactly appropriate for YOUR body at that time.  It’s your intuition speaking.  And someday I’d like to get formal training in holistic health, expanding on the training I currently have as a massage therapist, but even then if I tell you something that doesn’t sit quite right with you, I repeat, it probably means it’s not what your body needs at the time.

My goal with this blog is to help you with natural lifestyle choices based on what I’ve learned over the years.  My only advantage is that I was raised this way.  Growing up, my mom would doctor us up with herbal or homeopathic remedies, and we would get well.  We seldom, if ever, sought Western medical or pharmaceutical care.  Making natural lifestyle choices is, well, natural to me.  Most people aren’t raised this way, and therefore don’t have a knowledge base to help them with different choices in life.  I’m finding there are a LOT of people interested in more natural living, though, and I can see how difficult it would be to be starting from scratch.  It’s overwhelming!  That’s the point of this blog.  To share my knowledge base with you that I’ve accumulated through the past 26 years, and help you on your journey of improving yours and your family’s health.  You don’t have to take my advice, by any means.  Like I said before, if something I say or suggest doesn’t feel right to you, then don’t follow that bit of advice.  Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right to you, for that matter – it’s usually your body telling you it’s not right for you at this time!  Intuition.

No, I’m not an expert in this field, but I really want to be… I love researching all the information that I share with you in these posts.  I love learning more about remedies and nutrition and overall health and wellness, and I love sharing it with you.  I love seeing my naturopathic doctor and getting her opinions and advice on the choices I’m making in my own life, or learning more about what she suggests to improve different areas of my life.  (By the way, a lot of the things I post on here are things I’ve talked with her about, even crazy things like the lemonade diet I did, if that gives you any comfort!)  I love coming across new things too, like when my client told me about the olive leaf extract and it wound up working wonders in bringing me out of my sinus congestion and the horrible cold I was dealing with.  Which, by the way, I got a good feeling about that remedy when she told me about it – my intuition was signaling me that this is probably something I should try!  Anyway, it’s on my bucket list to get formal training in this field.  I have dreams of someday not only offering massage therapy, but also sitting down with clients and discussing their goals for a healthier lifestyle, and options on how to achieve it.  But for now this blog is my outlet.  Plain, simple, straightforward, free advice.  Things that I do to improve mine and my family’s health that I’m happy to share with you in the event that you want to do the same for yourself and your family.

I’m trying to live my life based more on my intuition, though, to get back on topic.  If I don’t agree with something or something doesn’t feel right to me, I’m not going to share it with you or suggest that you try it.  Makes sense, right?  I hope you do the same.  Just stay tuned in to that feeling in your gut, or in your heart, or that voice inside your head, and follow it.  It’s usually going to guide you to where you need to be for the benefit of your personal situation in life.  Nutrition is one of the big ones for me.  While I believe EVERYone would benefit from avoiding processed or refined foods or foods with chemicals or artificial ingredients added to them, there are natural things that may not be fitting for everyone at the same time.  I’ve found that I feel better avoiding most grains, especially those that contain gluten (wheat, rye, barley, spelt, etc.), and it seems as though my husband has experienced health benefits as well.  I like what I’ve read in books about it, I like what I’ve researched online about it, it feels good to me, so I’m sharing it with you and following that advice in my personal life.  Some people don’t agree that grains are that bad – maybe that’s just because that’s what they need in their own life at that time.  Meat is another one.  I’ve heard so much controversy over whether or not red meat is good for you, whether or not pork is good for you, etc. etc. etc..  My personal belief is that if I’m going to consume meat, I’m going to try to avoid the animals that were injected with steroids or artificial growth hormones, because I don’t want to eat that.  And some people believe ALL meat is bad, that’s fine too, even if I don’t agree with it as I’m on the other end of the spectrum and my intuition says we’re all part of the great circle of life.  But, like I said, you need to do what you feel is right for YOUR body.  It’s all a learning experience, but your intuition will get you to your goal of optimal health the fastest.

I kinda rambled a little there, sorry about that.  I get off on a tangent and away I go!  Just had a few experiences lately that made me feel compelled to share all that with you.  Fortunately I had mostly positive experiences – more and more people are writing in or calling to ask for advice about different health-related topics, and it’s very exciting for me!  I’m so happy to share my thoughts or my knowledge with you, and I’m so happy you feel like you can ask!  But I wanted to be sure, at the same time, that you all are aware of where I’m coming from.  That I’m not an expert, just a regular person who happened to grow up in a natural lifestyle.  So, I repeat, if I suggest something to you that leaves you thinking, “Eehhh, I’m not so sure about THAT one…” then that’s probably something you shouldn’t try.  Listen to your intuition!

For more information on intuition, I like what Wikipedia has to share.  It covers all aspects of the term, from psychology to science to spirituality.  Check it out!  And then be sure to stay tuned into yours!

Hope you’ve all had a great weekend!