The Power of Gratitude

Well, here I am again, it's been over a MONTH since I've blogged.  A MONTH.  That is unacceptable.  Okay fine I guess it has to be acceptable, because it happened.  But here I am, so let's do this.

I had a whole idea about Halloween to blog about (we had the best Halloween yet, by the way, it was SO much fun!) and never got to it.  Then I had this post that I wanted to write before Thanksgiving and never did.  But what can I say?  I'm living life.  Running a business, being part of a family - those two things in themselves are time consuming.  But it's a good thing to have that problem!  Life is definitely good right now.

Which brings me to this topic.  Gratitude.  I wanted to write about it before Thanksgiving, but really it reigns true throughout the year, throughout all of life, so anytime is a good time to talk about this.  But since I like to be all theme-y, I guess technically it's still within a week of Thanksgiving so I'm good, right? :)

This is SO TRUE.  This quote says it all.

Story time!

Granny would always  make comments about how I live a "charmed life".  She would ALWAYS say that.  And she's right, things have always sort of worked out for me.

My dad kind of set that foundation for me.  He got me started in life with the awareness that a positive attitude attracts positive things into life.  And I found it to be true.  But don't just think positive thoughts - BELIEVE them. And a step further from there, live as though you've already received what you're asking for.

And be thankful for it.  Be grateful.  Stop and honor what you've been given in your life, and more good will come.  More things will happen to you thank you can be grateful for.

And not just all the good things.  It's one thing to say "I'm grateful for my spouse.  I'm grateful for my kids.  I'm grateful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food on my table."  Finding silver linings in bad things and finding ways to be grateful for those can make a HUGE impact on your overall life and well-being.  I ALWAYS reflect on my gratitude for my learning experiences.  Yes, I agree with Granny that I've lived a charmed life, but it hasn't been perfect by any means.  But for that, I am grateful.  Here's why.

This post ties in with my post about The Other Side of Hardship, Depression, Pain, and Trauma.  But I'm going to dig a little deeper - perhaps you'll be able to relate to some of these experiences, or they'll help you to reflect on your own and find your own gratitude.

My first love (yes, we were only in like 8th grade but teenagers know what love is.  Granted, it's not the same when you're in your 20's, or 30's, or 70's, but it's love.  Just throwing that out there.) broke it to me that he was gay and it crushed my poor little teenage heart.  It was a huge struggle for both of us - him with his confusion and realizing he may have to face a lifetime of persecution just to be happy, and me having to come to terms that we can't be together, and I have to be open-minded and accepting of his lifestyle, which was completely foreign to me.

I learned to love and accept people.  If it weren't for him I wouldn't be as open and accepting and understanding as I am today.  Everyone has a journey.  Everyone has a story.  Everyone has battles.  I accept everyone for them, no matter who they are or what they're battling, or if it even makes any sense to me.  For that I am grateful.

I've been stabbed in the back, and nearly lost a job over it.  I had to learn not to harbor anger and resentment.  Life ended up working out for the better for me, as life usually does when struggles arise.  For that I am grateful.  It taught me to be cautious with my trust. Sometimes maybe a little too cautious... And I also had to learn forgiveness.  That's a hard lesson to learn.  But for that, I am grateful.

I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, without even realizing it.  I was trapped for nearly two years, unable to see what it was doing to me.  I finally got out of it, and realized the importance of protecting my emotions and listening to my heart.  I had a bad feeling about it the whole time, I just never tuned in and listened and instead made excuses.  I know better.  I tune into my gut instincts, and I've developed my ability to understand what my heart is telling me.  For that I am grateful.

I've been the victim of huge misunderstandings founded in jealousy, close-mindedness, and lack of empathy or flexibility or willingness to change or stretch.  Another lesson in forgiveness, and a reminder that everyone has inner demons and personal weaknesses.  I can choose to either get sucked in with them, or let them travel their own journey.  I have the choice.  For that I am grateful.

I've fallen in love with someone still battling inner demons.  I was about to leave when a good friend gave me some sage advice that has stuck with me to this day, and I will share it with you:

"When you pray, what do you ask for?  What kind of person do you want to be?  What kind of qualities or characteristics do you want God to give you?"

And I thought about it and then said, "Patience, strength, courage..."

To which she said,

"Isn't that what you're getting from this experience by being with him? Isn't that the kind of lessons he's brought into your life?"

God (or Universe, or Spirit, or Source, whatever you want to call it) can't just GIVE you the qualities you want in yourself.  You have to earn them and develop them.  That's what you're here for!

I went back with patience in my heart and a new readiness to forgive and give it one more chance.  We both were willing to put in the work, which we did, and we made it through, stronger and more connected than ever before, and we're married today!  For those hardships, for his personal battles and how they affected us, I am grateful.  And he's amazing - through all of that, he grew in his own strengths - patience, forgiveness, understanding, and perseverance.  For that, I am very grateful.

I poured my heart and soul into my desire for a home birth with Harlee, who resulted in a hospital transfer and c-section, followed by the darkest days I've ever experienced in my life.  It left me questioning if my "charmed life" was all just a sick joke played by the Universe.  That there's no such thing as "think positive and positive things will happen."  Even though my entire life has proven otherwise.  I lost all faith and trust in everything I once believed in.  That is a very scary place to be.

But I made new friends through my search for support.  I strengthened friendships with people I didn't realize had gone through similar experiences.  I was led to discover fitness, and then healthy eating habits.  My life changed physically and I regained confidence and most of my happiness.  I then "stumbled" (divine intervention at it's finest, I like to believe) upon a therapist who led me even further into my journey of self-discovery.  I grew stronger.  I developed awareness, stronger consciousness, and I was more "tuned in" to myself and the world around me.

Which, interestingly enough, is everything I wanted before.  I used to want more awareness, higher consciousness, and connectedness.

The sage advice my friend gave me came around again.

I earned those characteristics and strengths.

And so, for the trauma of Harlee's birth and the darkness that followed, I am SO grateful.  Eternally grateful.  I could cry just thinking about how grateful I am.  I never EVER thought I'd be saying that when I was in the midst of the darkness.  But it's restored my faith in life and the Universe, that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  And the worst of things that happen, if you handle them properly, can turn into the best learning experiences you'll ever get in this life.  And the person you can become when you rise from the ashes is more amazing than you ever dreamed you could be.

For my friend's advice that stuck with me, I am grateful.

For the people that came into my life "by chance" when I needed them most, I am grateful.

For my restored faith in the Universe, and my trust that good things happen when you think positive, I am grateful.  But also for the realization that you do get what you ask for, but sometimes you have to put in the work too which can turn out to be pretty difficult, I am definitely grateful.

Gratitude.  It's huge.  It's what makes the who positive attitude "Law of Attraction" thing work.

Now, every day I express gratitude.  Especially for the little obstacles that later unveil their reason for happening (which is always SO cool).  Like the other morning, I was about to head out the door when Harlee said something that reminded me I forgot something inside.  I felt gratitude for Harlee's comment. I went inside to get it and realized I left the fireplace on.  "Yikes, that could have been bad!" I thought.  I took a moment to feel gratitude for the fact that I forgot something that required me to come back inside and see that I needed to turn the fireplace off.  Call it a guardian angel, call it God's protection, call it coincidence, but I call it the law of attraction in action.  The more gratitude I express, the more things come into my life to be grateful for.

Try it!  What are you grateful for?  Of course you're grateful for your family and friends, your job and your home and your well-being.  But stop and think about where you've been in this life.  Everything that happened to you that brought you to where you are today.  Who are you because of it all?  How was your life made better because of the things that once made it worse?  Life is filled with learning experiences and opportunities to make the rest of your life absolutely incredible.  Seize them with gratitude and enjoy the ride!

Love Thy Neighbor

So many people are not following the Bible's words, and it's so sad.

I mean, the main one that's in the forefront right now is Leviticus 20:13, "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them."

But now gay marriage is accepted in our country.  Just terrible, isn't it?

And what about Levitucus 25:44, "Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves."

But slavery was abolished quite some time ago, and now even the Confederate flag is no longer acceptable in most places!  What is wrong with people?

Or Deuteronomy 22:9, " Do not plant two kinds of seed in your vineyard; if you do, not only the crops you plant but also the fruit of the vineyard will be defiled."

See??  This non-GMO movement has some good ground to stand on, it's in the Bible not to cross-pollinate!

How about Leviticus 11:12, "Everything in the waters that has not fins and scales is detestable to you."

Wait... I do like shrimp... a lot of people like shrimp... and clams and oysters and mussels and scallops and...

Or Deuteronomy 22:5, "A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this."

Dangit, I don't like wearing dresses... Well, formal events, parties, and nice social outings are okay and it's fun to get dressed up, but otherwise, not so much.  Skirts especially, I hate wearing skirts... I prefer pants and shorts... But these are men's clothes!  Crap.

On the topic of clothes, Deuteronomy 22:11 says "Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together."  Guess I need to throw out these cotton/polyester blend shorts I'm wearing... And nearly everything else in my closet.

And maybe we should give the polygamists a break?  Deuteronomy 21:15-17,  "If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, / when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. /  He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father’s strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.

If Justin ever decides to take on his second wife and have kids, at least we know how the inheritance is divided.

Alright, that's enough for now.  But I could go on.

Most of you know I'm not religious.  This is partially why.  The Bible has thousands of verses in it, and only a select few are focused on.  It seems like religious authorities, or just religious followers in general, will pick which verses to zero in on to defend their personal beliefs.  But what about all the other crazy verses and teachings in it?

I look at the Bible as a set of guidelines, but otherwise stories.  It was written thousands of years ago by MEN.  Human beings - who make mistakes, misinterpret things, and have human flaws like greed, jealousy, vengeance, malice, etc.  As a good friend of mine said, "God did not write the Bible.  Men wrote the Bible.  I could have written the Bible."

But, there are a lot of good things in it that should, in my opinion, be followed, like:

John 8:7, "So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

If you have a problem with gay marriage (which is the topic at hand in our country), it's not your place to judge or condemn gays.  Besides, you probably eat shellfish.

Matthew 22:39, "And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

Ya know, I don't get homosexuality.  I really don't.  I've always liked men, I've always been attracted to men, I can appreciate attractiveness in women but I've never wanted to pursue a relationship with one.  Does that mean I hate homosexuality?  Or dislike anyone who is?  No.  I don't really like animals.  I don't have a desire to have pets at my house.  Does that make me dislike people who do keep pets at their house?  Or better yet, if you're an animal lover, do you dislike me because I'm not?  Stop judging people.  People having relationships with other people and showing mutual love and care and affection for each other, regardless of sexual orientation, are not hurting anyone, and are no more "sinners" than the rest of us out here eating shellfish.
 
One more before I sign off:

Matthew 9:17, "Neither do [men] put new wine into old wine-skins: else the skins burst, and the wine is spilled, and the skins perish: but they put new wine into fresh wine-skins, and both are preserved."

Change is okay.  Change is good.  The new wine, or ways of the world, as times change, are not going to work with old wine-skins, aka old mindsets.  We need a fresh mindset, a fresh outlook, so we can move forward into bigger and better.

Just sayin'.