The Power of Gratitude

Well, here I am again, it's been over a MONTH since I've blogged.  A MONTH.  That is unacceptable.  Okay fine I guess it has to be acceptable, because it happened.  But here I am, so let's do this.

I had a whole idea about Halloween to blog about (we had the best Halloween yet, by the way, it was SO much fun!) and never got to it.  Then I had this post that I wanted to write before Thanksgiving and never did.  But what can I say?  I'm living life.  Running a business, being part of a family - those two things in themselves are time consuming.  But it's a good thing to have that problem!  Life is definitely good right now.

Which brings me to this topic.  Gratitude.  I wanted to write about it before Thanksgiving, but really it reigns true throughout the year, throughout all of life, so anytime is a good time to talk about this.  But since I like to be all theme-y, I guess technically it's still within a week of Thanksgiving so I'm good, right? :)

This is SO TRUE.  This quote says it all.

Story time!

Granny would always  make comments about how I live a "charmed life".  She would ALWAYS say that.  And she's right, things have always sort of worked out for me.

My dad kind of set that foundation for me.  He got me started in life with the awareness that a positive attitude attracts positive things into life.  And I found it to be true.  But don't just think positive thoughts - BELIEVE them. And a step further from there, live as though you've already received what you're asking for.

And be thankful for it.  Be grateful.  Stop and honor what you've been given in your life, and more good will come.  More things will happen to you thank you can be grateful for.

And not just all the good things.  It's one thing to say "I'm grateful for my spouse.  I'm grateful for my kids.  I'm grateful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food on my table."  Finding silver linings in bad things and finding ways to be grateful for those can make a HUGE impact on your overall life and well-being.  I ALWAYS reflect on my gratitude for my learning experiences.  Yes, I agree with Granny that I've lived a charmed life, but it hasn't been perfect by any means.  But for that, I am grateful.  Here's why.

This post ties in with my post about The Other Side of Hardship, Depression, Pain, and Trauma.  But I'm going to dig a little deeper - perhaps you'll be able to relate to some of these experiences, or they'll help you to reflect on your own and find your own gratitude.

My first love (yes, we were only in like 8th grade but teenagers know what love is.  Granted, it's not the same when you're in your 20's, or 30's, or 70's, but it's love.  Just throwing that out there.) broke it to me that he was gay and it crushed my poor little teenage heart.  It was a huge struggle for both of us - him with his confusion and realizing he may have to face a lifetime of persecution just to be happy, and me having to come to terms that we can't be together, and I have to be open-minded and accepting of his lifestyle, which was completely foreign to me.

I learned to love and accept people.  If it weren't for him I wouldn't be as open and accepting and understanding as I am today.  Everyone has a journey.  Everyone has a story.  Everyone has battles.  I accept everyone for them, no matter who they are or what they're battling, or if it even makes any sense to me.  For that I am grateful.

I've been stabbed in the back, and nearly lost a job over it.  I had to learn not to harbor anger and resentment.  Life ended up working out for the better for me, as life usually does when struggles arise.  For that I am grateful.  It taught me to be cautious with my trust. Sometimes maybe a little too cautious... And I also had to learn forgiveness.  That's a hard lesson to learn.  But for that, I am grateful.

I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, without even realizing it.  I was trapped for nearly two years, unable to see what it was doing to me.  I finally got out of it, and realized the importance of protecting my emotions and listening to my heart.  I had a bad feeling about it the whole time, I just never tuned in and listened and instead made excuses.  I know better.  I tune into my gut instincts, and I've developed my ability to understand what my heart is telling me.  For that I am grateful.

I've been the victim of huge misunderstandings founded in jealousy, close-mindedness, and lack of empathy or flexibility or willingness to change or stretch.  Another lesson in forgiveness, and a reminder that everyone has inner demons and personal weaknesses.  I can choose to either get sucked in with them, or let them travel their own journey.  I have the choice.  For that I am grateful.

I've fallen in love with someone still battling inner demons.  I was about to leave when a good friend gave me some sage advice that has stuck with me to this day, and I will share it with you:

"When you pray, what do you ask for?  What kind of person do you want to be?  What kind of qualities or characteristics do you want God to give you?"

And I thought about it and then said, "Patience, strength, courage..."

To which she said,

"Isn't that what you're getting from this experience by being with him? Isn't that the kind of lessons he's brought into your life?"

God (or Universe, or Spirit, or Source, whatever you want to call it) can't just GIVE you the qualities you want in yourself.  You have to earn them and develop them.  That's what you're here for!

I went back with patience in my heart and a new readiness to forgive and give it one more chance.  We both were willing to put in the work, which we did, and we made it through, stronger and more connected than ever before, and we're married today!  For those hardships, for his personal battles and how they affected us, I am grateful.  And he's amazing - through all of that, he grew in his own strengths - patience, forgiveness, understanding, and perseverance.  For that, I am very grateful.

I poured my heart and soul into my desire for a home birth with Harlee, who resulted in a hospital transfer and c-section, followed by the darkest days I've ever experienced in my life.  It left me questioning if my "charmed life" was all just a sick joke played by the Universe.  That there's no such thing as "think positive and positive things will happen."  Even though my entire life has proven otherwise.  I lost all faith and trust in everything I once believed in.  That is a very scary place to be.

But I made new friends through my search for support.  I strengthened friendships with people I didn't realize had gone through similar experiences.  I was led to discover fitness, and then healthy eating habits.  My life changed physically and I regained confidence and most of my happiness.  I then "stumbled" (divine intervention at it's finest, I like to believe) upon a therapist who led me even further into my journey of self-discovery.  I grew stronger.  I developed awareness, stronger consciousness, and I was more "tuned in" to myself and the world around me.

Which, interestingly enough, is everything I wanted before.  I used to want more awareness, higher consciousness, and connectedness.

The sage advice my friend gave me came around again.

I earned those characteristics and strengths.

And so, for the trauma of Harlee's birth and the darkness that followed, I am SO grateful.  Eternally grateful.  I could cry just thinking about how grateful I am.  I never EVER thought I'd be saying that when I was in the midst of the darkness.  But it's restored my faith in life and the Universe, that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  And the worst of things that happen, if you handle them properly, can turn into the best learning experiences you'll ever get in this life.  And the person you can become when you rise from the ashes is more amazing than you ever dreamed you could be.

For my friend's advice that stuck with me, I am grateful.

For the people that came into my life "by chance" when I needed them most, I am grateful.

For my restored faith in the Universe, and my trust that good things happen when you think positive, I am grateful.  But also for the realization that you do get what you ask for, but sometimes you have to put in the work too which can turn out to be pretty difficult, I am definitely grateful.

Gratitude.  It's huge.  It's what makes the who positive attitude "Law of Attraction" thing work.

Now, every day I express gratitude.  Especially for the little obstacles that later unveil their reason for happening (which is always SO cool).  Like the other morning, I was about to head out the door when Harlee said something that reminded me I forgot something inside.  I felt gratitude for Harlee's comment. I went inside to get it and realized I left the fireplace on.  "Yikes, that could have been bad!" I thought.  I took a moment to feel gratitude for the fact that I forgot something that required me to come back inside and see that I needed to turn the fireplace off.  Call it a guardian angel, call it God's protection, call it coincidence, but I call it the law of attraction in action.  The more gratitude I express, the more things come into my life to be grateful for.

Try it!  What are you grateful for?  Of course you're grateful for your family and friends, your job and your home and your well-being.  But stop and think about where you've been in this life.  Everything that happened to you that brought you to where you are today.  Who are you because of it all?  How was your life made better because of the things that once made it worse?  Life is filled with learning experiences and opportunities to make the rest of your life absolutely incredible.  Seize them with gratitude and enjoy the ride!

Breastfeeding: A Love-Hate Relationship

While I'm on the subject of TMI (did you read my last post about yeast infections? lovely...) and now that my breastfeeding days have drawn to a close, I've decided to talk about it.  I want to share my honesty, as well as personal advice for other BF mamas.  If you're a hardcore breastfeeding advocate, you may not like this post a whole lot, but I encourage you to read it regardless.

I want to talk both about the emotional aspects and the physical aspects of breastfeeding.  I'll start with physical.  I don't know enough about it to give much in-depth advice, believe it or not, but I'll cover what I do know here, so if I miss something you'd like more information about then get in touch with a lactation counselor, or check out La Leche League either online or find your local group, or KellyMom.com has good info too.

Breastfeeding has, thankfully, been easy for me.  Which is why I haven't done a whole lot of research on it - it's just something that came naturally.  I can imagine how devastating it must be for moms who can't or who struggle - it seems as though their emotions somewhat match the emotions I had after my c-section with Harlee and I was left feeling broken and defective.  You feel like you failed yourself and you failed your child and everyone looks at you as a failure.  I honestly don't believe ALL women can do it.  Difficulty is something women faced throughout history.  Ever heard of a wet nurse?  She's a breastfeeding mom who nurses the child of a mom who couldn't do it.  I don't know what the reasons are for not being able to, but if you're one of those women, it's okay.  You're not defective.  Of the women who were unsuccessful, however, I do believe a lot of them could have done it with a proper support team and the proper information provided to them.  Which is another reason to get in touch with a lactation counselor or La Leche League.  If you're relying on a breastfeeding class provided by your hospital, you're probably not going to get a whole lot, sorry.

Like I said, I've had a pretty smooth breastfeeding experience.  With Harlee I didn't have much of a clientele built up at work so I was able to leave him for short periods of time with my mom or grandma and come back to feed him without needing to pump in between.  I'd still pump just to make sure I was producing extra in the event I did need to leave him longer, but otherwise this set-up worked well.

Breastfeeding is a supply-and-demand kind of thing.  If there isn't a demand, your body will supply less and less.  If there's more of a demand, your body will do what it can to keep up, provided you're well hydrated, healthy, and other factors like stress or illness or medication don't hinder you.  Nursing the baby directly produces more than just strictly pumping, too.

When both my boys were born, I felt like I was producing enough to keep up with quadruplets.  It was crazy.  Within a month or so it regulated, though, and I wasn't feeling constantly engorged nor was I drowning them every time they ate.

With Elliot I was at work a lot more than I was with Harlee, so I pumped more regularly.  It's definitely been a different experience.  I had to make sure I scheduled time between every two-three clients to sit and pump so I could keep my supply up.

I noticed when I started working out a lot more intensely that my supply seemed to start waning, and I was getting a bit nervous about it.  Then one day at personal training I got a charley horse in my leg and I suddenly remembered I had been forgetting to take my salt sole in the morning!  I started taking it again and that day and all the days following my milk supply increased more and more too - I'm definitely thinking there's a connection!  Yet another amazing benefit of balanced trace minerals in the body...

More Ways to Increase Supply

Salt Sole, which I mentioned above.

Fennel essential oil, which I used with success.  I diluted it with coconut oil and rubbed it on topically.

Mother's Milk tea is also a good option, but I'm not an avid tea drinker enough to be able to say whether I think that works for me or not.  It's worked for other moms though.

Fenugreek supplements are another good option, which is the primary component of the mother's milk tea.  I can't speak from personal experience, but I do know a few moms who took this with success.

How To Decrease Supply 

Peppermint essential oil.  It works like a charm.  I'll share the story about my final days of breastfeeding Elliot below, but basically the last couple days I was feeling slightly engorged as my body was still trying to keep up with night feedings, which weren't happening anymore.  I diluted some peppermint oil with coconut oil and rubbed it on where it was the sorest, and within minutes I was feeling relief.  That stuff will dry you up, so if you don't want that, then avoid it.

The Good...

Breastfeeding has some incredible health benefits for you and your child, and gives them such a great start to life.  There's no way I, personally, would have chosen not to do it.  You're passing along your antibodies to support your baby's developing immune system, as well as providing them with complete nutrition and beneficial fats, carbohydrates, and proteins to help them grow and develop.  There are a lot of good formulas on the market, but nothing holds a candle to the power of real breastmilk.

If you do need a good formula, I recommend Nature's One Baby's Only Organic Formula. A friend of mine told me about it, which she used for her baby, and I looked into it myself.  They promote it as a toddler formula because they encourage breastfeeding for the first year, but according to the company it can be used for infants and babies.  I really think this is one of the best products out there.  Please don't just feed your baby anything if you find you can't breastfeed.  That first year of their life is SO important as they develop, so nourishing them properly is HUGE.  Food is medicine, people.  I will say that over and over and over.  Feed your new developing baby the best, and give them the best start in life that you can.  They're fully dependent on you for that.

The Bad...

Now let's talk about the emotional aspect.  Sometimes (or most times) I can totally see why people choose not too.

'Cause at the same time as it's wonderful, it also kinda sucks.

This is just my personal opinion about it.  Not everyone thinks it sucks.  A lot of people absolutely LOVE it.  And I did have a lot of moments when I held my sweet little guy, feeding him with the nourishment that I produced, that MY body made for him, and was mystified by that bond and how incredible this experience actually is.  It's pretty amazing when you think about it. But that was only hit or miss in the comfort of my home.

There's still mixed feelings out there on the subject of nursing in public, and I like to respect the fact that it does make some people uncomfortable, so I'd either try to do it in private or I'd cover up (unless we're friends or relatives, in which case get over it :-)).  So that meant when my baby was hungry, I was either sitting all alone with him in an out-of-sight area feeling completely secluded and anti-social, or I'd be covered up and he's hot and uncomfortable and can't eat steadily and ends up causing me discomfort and then he's crabby and then I'm crabby and it just goes downhill from there.  Can't really win.

Then there's my husband, who meant well, but seemed to think that any time Harlee or Elliot was cranky or fussy that I should "give him some boob" (yeah that's the kind of crude language we use, don't judge! :-)).  Which means I'm expected to stop what I'm doing to see if that's what he really does want, and then I'm enslaved to the couch or wherever I happen to land with him.  And I feed on demand, I feel that's best when they're that little, I don't really believe you can "schedule" a baby with something like this.  But that makes things unpredictable.  Sometimes he eats all the time.  Sometimes not.  Do I have time to start laundry or dishes without getting interrupted? Can I have my friends over to work out without having to stop to take a nurse break? Can we go out to eat as a family and I can actually sit and enjoy a meal from beginning to end without at some point having a baby attached to me?

"Oh but it's such a beautiful bonding experience," they say.  "They're so precious, and what a miracle to be able to feed your baby with your own body, what amazing creatures we are!" they say.

Yeah yeah, I just said that a few paragraphs ago.  And yes, I would usually agree with that.  Like going to bed at night and all is quiet and he really is just so precious and we are bonding.  Or when I don't have things to do that I don't want interrupted. Or we're not out in public and I'm not distracted with the thought of "am I offending anyone?"

Once Harlee was on solids, I went down to only nursing him at home - at naptime, right before bed, if he'd wake up in the middle of the night, and first thing in the morning.  It was great, but there were moments when it was more of a nuisance.  And sure, I hear all the statistics of how we're supposed to nurse our babies until at least two, but I'm sorry, there ain't no way :-|.

I know I may risk getting judged for saying that, and I understand because I honestly used to judge people who wouldn't even TRY breastfeeding - I mean I know it's hard but it's sooooo good for your child.  But then a friend of mine voluntarily quit breastfeeding her daughter between 3-5 months (I can't quite remember the actual age).  She was stressed out with pumping at work, trying to balance it with her schedule, and maxed out.  It changed my outlook.  She shouldn't be expected to just suck it up because she's doing what's best for her child - no, in fact, finding ways to reduce stress in her life was what was best for her child, and if it meant breastfeeding had to go, then maybe it was better for her daughter to be on formula than stressed-out breastmilk.  I felt she was doing the right thing.  And I looked at the situation with a more open mind from there on out.

I'd still find myself placing a little judgement on people who didn't even try though.  Until I talked to a few more people and learned that they were just looking ahead realistically - it just wouldn't fit in their work schedule and made more sense if they just didn't even start, rather than risk stressing themselves out over it by trying to make it work.  I believe it's important for babies to have moms with as little stress as they can manage, and being a mom is so stressful it's ridiculous anyway (in my opinion), so I support moms when they recognize stress factors and do what they can to eliminate them.

And now, since being more of a working mom with Elliot than I was with Harlee, I totally saw breastfeeding as being a stressor more so than a joy.

Why didn't I stay at home more, since I have the liberty of making my own schedule?  Because I love my job and wanted to be there.  Being at home too much makes me crazy, which takes us back to the topic of stressed-out moms.  I took two months off after having Elliot.  I was definitely feeling a bit crazed by the end of it.  I wanted to be back in my own familiar environment, doing what I love, and feeling more connected to ME, which happens to be at work.  Some women are cut out to stay at home with their kids, and have the patience for it.  I am not one of those women.

Breastfeeding made me feel confined.  It made me feel stifled.  I don't do well in those kinds of situations.  

Drawing to a Close

I'm proud that I did it.  And I'm grateful that I could do it.  But I was also glad to be done, both times.  Harlee officially stopped nursing at 18 months, and I was glad to be done.  He conveniently started sleeping straight through the night at that point too... interestingly enough...  Elliot actually seemed to prefer solid food over breastmilk, and around 10 months old he started refusing bottles or cups of it when he was with babysitters.  I nursed him inconsistently until he was a year old, then went down to just naptime, bedtime, middle of the night, and upon waking in the morning.  Soon naptime phased out, then a couple of times when I was out late for whatever reason and Justin put him to bed, the bedtime feeding phased out.  He's now 15 months old and I'm no longer nursing him at all, and he's actually sleeping through the night now in his own bed.

The first two nights in a row of this, I started getting slightly engorged, as my body was still used to producing enough to feed him every night.  I was almost tempted to nurse him one last time, as the realization set in that this is it.  I'm done.  I'll never nurse a baby again.  I'll never cradle him in my arms and feed him the nourishment that I made myself, to help him grow, or to comfort him if he's upset.  He's a big boy now.

This was a slightly bittersweet feeling...  As I guess all ends of chapters are.  But definitely more sweet than bitter.  I didn't nurse him one last time.  I like that the relationship ended without me knowing it.  I rubbed the peppermint oil on, and moved forward.

Enjoying his "special" chocolate milk

I do have a lot of expressed milk stored up, which I give him occasionally mixed with almond milk and sometimes a little Barlean's Greens Chocolate Silk (he really doesn't like it plain, trust me, he gets really mad and makes horrible faces), so he's still getting something, but I'm free of the "shackles" that I felt breastfeeding was more often than not.   My stress levels are lower, I feel more like myself, more "normal", which makes me a happier person, and that, in my opinion, is what's most important for my kids.  I have no problem with breastfeeding for as long as you want.  I do have a problem with moms judging other moms about it.  And I do encourage moms to do what makes them the happiest, because that, ultimately, is what's best for their children.  This is how I personally feel about it, and I just wanted to be honest with you, and let you know it's okay to feel however it is you feel about it.  Do what you need to do to make you happy, and your kids will benefit from that.  And that's what makes you a great mom.

Candida, Yeast Infections, Thrush, Group B Strep, and All That Nastiness

Yeah, this is a nasty topic.  One that not many people want to discuss.  One that I tirelessly searched the internet for answers to and information about for a very long time several years ago.

A topic that I've fortunately been able to not have to think about for about three and a half years.  But now I do.  Because I'm in that boat again.  Yay.  Years ago, when I was in that boat last, I didn't really want to blog about it because of the TMI factor, but now, I remember how much time I spent searching desperately for answers, and instead of finding answers I found so many people on forums desperately searching for answers themselves.  So I'm just going to blog about it in the event that I'll help somebody who was as desperate as I was years ago.

I think I mentioned in a past post that I was blessed with a monthly yeast infection for lord knows how long (it was way too long.  Like a couple of years, I think.  I try to block that out of my memory because it was miserable.).  It was one of the driving forces behind me really avoiding Western Medicine.  I had been on several antibiotics for several different things back when I was about 17 years old (I think?) - I had gotten sick, then got an abscess tooth, etc., and then found out the hard way that I'm allergic to penicillin, which was pretty ugly, and that's about when the yeast infections started.  Every month, without fail.  I could have bought stock in Monistat or Miconazole.  Which, by the way, can potentially make yeast infections worse if used too frequently, as the yeast develop a resistance to it, but I was unaware of that at the time.  And to this day that stuff doesn't work for me.  I didn't even bother trying it this time, I knew it wouldn't do any good.

Our local massage therapist at the time had a LOT of knowledge on holistic and natural healing, and I finally went to her and told her my situation.  That's when I got to learn more about probiotics and the balance of bacteria in our guts.  This is the post I wrote about that, which I STRONGLY encourage you to read, and if you already read it before, go back and read it again as a refresher.  It's not a long one, so you're fine.  Click it - right now - do it.  Thank you.



Ah, welcome back to this post.  Okay so you're now aware of how important it is to have a good supply of beneficial/friendly bacteria in your gut.  It's the powerhouse of your immune system.  Antibiotics kill ALL the bacteria, and down goes your immune system.  Probiotics help rebuild the beneficial bacteria population.

I haven't been on antibiotics since I wrote that post about my UTI.  My boys have NEVER been on antibiotics.  Well, I take that back, Harlee had a mild one when he had surgery on his broken arm.  But you can bet I was bombarding him with probiotics to keep his immune system strong.

So what is my problem now, then?  I believe it's a few different factors.  I hadn't been eating as clean as I would like to, and Justin and I have been indulging in wine quite a bit in the evenings (makes for a nice date night at home!), so I feel like I've killed off a few good guys.  I haven't been taking probiotics regularly, and I know I need to.  Plus, I've been craving chocolate like it's do or die, and at times it's been such a strong addiction that I can't fight it - one time I stopped at a gas station just for a chocolate fix, got a bag of mini Twix and ate the whole thing in like 4 minutes.  It was awful.  I'm embarrassed to admit that.  That's actually the first time I admitted that to anybody... you should feel special. 

I feel like since I had so many issues before, my immune system will forever be slightly compromised.  I need to take extra special care of it.  I've learned a LOT about yeast since having my issues years ago, and it would be unfair of me to keep that information from everyone else who's desperately searching for answers to this miserable situation.

So, once this yeast infection hit, I understood where the cravings were coming from!  An overgrowth of yeast and an imbalance in the gut leads to unhealthy cravings, especially for sugar and carbs.  Yeast feeds off of sugar, so the more they grow, the more they want, and the more you crave.  It's a vicious cycle.  And it truly is an addiction, because it's part of you that you have no control over making decisions for you.  You can't fight it.  You can't say no.

Let's Break it Down:

Candida is a form of yeast, or fungus, that helps out with digestion and nutrient absorption in the intestines, and exists in our bodies in small amounts.  Candidiasis is a fungal infection caused by an overgrowth of candida, and it ain't pretty.  When there's too much candida, it can break down your intestinal walls and get into your blood stream, which of course leads to a lot of health issues.

Thrush is a yeast infection commonly found in the mouth and breasts.  Elliot is down to only nursing at night, but it's enough that he caught my infection, and both of us are suffering.  He nurses and then cries while playing with his mouth like it hurts, and I won't get into the pain I'm experiencing on my end.

Group B Strep is a bacteria often found in the vagina, rectum, and bladder of women.  It's not dangerous unless it's present during birth.  I didn't know much about it originally, but after testing positive for it when I was pregnant with Harlee I did some research and discovered that it's associated with candida, as that's the primary organism present when group B strep is present.  I was able to retest in two weeks after testing positive with Harlee at 36 weeks and, thanks to a strict regimen of all my candida-busting tricks I learned, I tested negative and was in the clear at 38 weeks.  I repeated the same regimen two weeks before testing during my pregnancy with Elliot, and tested negative right off the bat.  I'll get to how I did that in a bit.


A lot of people have a problem with yeast and bacterial imbalances in the gut.  Here's an excerpt from Mind Body Green: 10 Signs You Have Candida Overgrowth:

1. Skin and nail fungal infections, such as athlete’s foot or toenail fungus
2. Feeling tired and worn down, or suffering from chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia
3. Digestive issues such as bloating, constipation, or diarrhea
4. Autoimmune diseases such as Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, Rheumatoid arthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Lupus, Psoriasis, Scleroderma or Multiple sclerosis
5. Difficulty concentrating, poor memory, lack of focus, ADD, ADHD and brain fog
6. Skin issues like eczema, psoriasis, hives and rashes
7. Irritability, mood swings, anxiety or depression
8. Vaginal infections, urinary tract infections, rectal itching or vaginal itching
9. Severe seasonal allergies or itchy ears
10. Strong sugar and refined carbohydrate cravings

I know I certainly fit the bill for #s 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 10.  Big time.  How many of these signs do you currently have?

The #1 best way to beat candida (yeast overgrowth) is to cut out sugar COMPLETELY for at least two to three weeks, and if that's all you're doing to treat it, it could take three to six months.  And not just plain ol' sugar - ALL sugar - carbs too, meaning grains and legumes and starches - all your breads, pastas, beans, potatoes, everything.  Alcohol is also on that list, and so is dairy, as lactose is a form of sugar that can disrupt the system and hinder your progress.  You need a total, low-carb, clean diet.  But, if you're helplessly addicted to sugar in all its forms, thanks to the yeast overgrowth making you crave it, it may feel like it's next to impossible to do it.  But you have to.  It's the only way to beat this.  It takes willpower and determination like none other.

Here is a list of tips on how to beat candida, and also what I did to test negative for Group B Strep, and how I heal faster from yeast infections and thrush when it does occur (and how you can too!):

• Cut out sugar.  Completely.  Like I just got done saying but it's so important that I have to repeat it.  Just get it in your head that you HAVE to do this for your health.  It's like any addiction.  It's bad for you, you know it, you know the more you indulge the worse your problem is getting, you feel like you NEED it, you can't live without it, but deep down you know that's not true.  Dig deep.  Remind yourself constantly that this is the way you're going to get back into good health.  No more itching, no more burning, no more searing pain.  Isn't missing out on the taste of a cookie or ice cream for now a fair trade for no more pain?  I think so.  If you can't cut out sugar, then don't read any further.  You're not going to have any luck.  Period.  You just aren't.  You just need to accept a miserable life of burning and itching and all the other problems associated with it.

• Oh, you're reading on?  Good for you, congratulations on your choice to ditch sugar and move on with your life!  Maybe check into a 12-step program - I'm serious, cutting the sugar addiction is VERY VERY HARD.  Start getting excited about eating nothing but meat, vegetables, nuts, and seeds!

• Probiotics.  You have to fuel the good bacteria and build them back up.  Take around 100 billion live cultures or more throughout the day.  You can find them in the refriderated section of your local health food store.  There's an excellent probiotic formula called FemDophilus that I highly recommend for any woman suffering from yeast infections, whether chronic or infrequent.  Another good product is HLC MindLinx capsules, which is a strain of probiotic that isn't normally included in conventional probiotic supplements, but can be very helpful in combating candida.  Take these two as well as your conventional probiotic from the health food store, and you should be smooth sailing.  By the way, you don't only have to take probiotics orally - you can use the capsules as a suppository overnight too.  Get those guys working directly on-site and bypass the digestive system!

• Garlic is a very effective antifungal.  You can take it in supplement form or include the cloves in your food.  Another very effective way to use it (and to beat that burning and itching problem) is to thread a clove cut in half (to expose the good stuff) with dental floss or string for easy removal and use it as a suppository every night for about a week.  You'll smell like a pizzaria... but it's better than feeling miserable!  It cuts those symptoms out pretty quick, and if you're dealing with a yeast infection, you'll do ANYthing to free yourself from that nightmare.

• Black Walnut is another very effective antifungal.  So effective, in fact, that one study showed it to fight candida better than most over the counter antifungal drugs.  You get this treatment in tincture form, which you can add to your water as directed and take it orally or soak a cotton swab and apply it topically followed immediately by coconut oil.  Goodbye itching and burning, almost instantly!  That is definitely a win.  This is one of my favorite treatments for immediate relief of symptoms.

• Gentian Violet is an antiseptic purple dye that's used more as a treatment for thrush, which is usually an issue if you're breastfeeding.  It appears as white spots in baby's mouth, and while it isn't dangerous or anything to worry about, it is annoying and can be painful.  On mom's end, however, it's pretty awful.  I don't need to get into the gory details.  Gentian violet can be applied directly to the nipples and also in baby's mouth.  It stains everything purple so be careful with clothing!  And your baby will certainly look pretty funny with a purple mouth, but it seems to be very soothing upon application - both my boys have seemed happier after I applied it any time they had it (which fortunately wasn't that often, and just one time for Elliot).  While used primarily for oral thrush, it can be very helpful for vaginal yeast infections too, and most people (including myself) say it works better than any prescription treatment (and trust me, I've gone through plenty).

  

  Harlee at 3 months old sporting his purple mouth :-P

• Boost the Immune System.  Your immune system will improve with a clean diet, so you're automatically getting that benefit by following step 1.  No refined carbs, no sugars, no processed foods = healthy body with a healthy system.  To help your immune system along, you can take supplements such as echinacea and goldenseal, vitamin C, olive leaf extract, cinnamon, and pau d'arco.  Just to name a few of my favorites.

• Coconut oil has so many benefits I don't even know where to begin with it.  But in the case of candida, coconut oil is very soothing for that burning and itching (I apply it directly after applying the black walnut and that usually kicks symptoms right away), and it also contains caprylic acid, a fatty acid that is a strong antifungal that both kills candida and also restores balance to your stomach's pH.
 

I hope that helped!  Check out the links I shared throughout, as they link back to other helpful sites that you can get more information from.  But this list is everything I've tried and had great success with.  This time around, I only had a couple days of actual "suffering" - the first day it started until I got symptoms under control, and then a couple days later we went out to eat and while I had a salad, I wasn't thinking and got raspberry tea and I'm pretty sure the sugar in that flared it up again.  Other than that I've had mild to no symptoms, reminding me that I need to keep my diet in check, but reassuring me that everything is under control.  I plan to continue my no-sugar regimen with extra probiotics and garlic for another couple of weeks for sure, because I don't want to run the risk of this coming back (which I know it can!).  I'm happy to say I haven't used a single drop of a conventional Western treatment, yay!  I think that says a lot that I've had a better experience treating this situation naturally than I ever did treating it conventionally.  Mother Nature always looks out for us, and for that I am very thankful!

Why I Make My Own Toothpaste

Following up with my last post about the homemade toothpaste and how it saved the day after Harlee's fire ant attack, I said I'd share why I started making my own toothpaste.

There are several different factors, but mainly, conventional toothpaste has a lot of crap in it.  Fluoride being the main one.  It's not good for you, people.  But there is a lot of other junk in toothpaste too that really shouldn't be put in our mouths.  If you don't want to make your own toothpaste, there are several natural options on the market.  Here are a few ingredients to avoid when shopping for toothpaste or any other body care or personal hygiene products:

Fluoride

Fluoride is highly toxic.  It used to be used in rat poison as it is slightly more toxic than lead and slightly less toxic than arsenic.  The FDA requires fluoride toothpaste manufacturers to include a warning on their labels to contact poison control if more than what is required for brushing is swallowed.

A lot of health concerns and problems can arise from too much fluoride consumption, including but not limited to arthritis, bone/skeletal issues and disorders, thyroid problems, endocrine problems, fertility problems, gastrointestinal issues, and neurological issues.  Fluoride has also been discovered to be a mutagen, which means it can cause genetic damage.  Genetic damage can lead to the growth of cancers.  Fluoride is most linked to osteosarcoma, or bone cancer, which develops during the teenage years.  Fluoride has also been found to accumulate in the pineal gland in the brain, which can have many adverse affects including sleep disturbances and early onset of puberty in females.

So why is this stuff added to our drinking water??  And why is it also added to our toothpaste??  Well, some research has shown that fluoride helps prevent cavities and tooth decay.  This may or may not be true, but adding fluoride to water for this reason started back in the 1940s.  It's since been discovered that swallowing fluoride doesn't have any affect on dental health, yet the practice of adding fluoride to drinking water hasn't  really stopped since then.

Even if fluoride does help prevent tooth decay when applied topically, I'd still prefer to avoid it, knowing how toxic it is and seeing how many health problems can arise from too much of it.  I'm definitely not taking chances on my kids, who invariably swallow their toothpaste instead of spitting it out.

Triclosan

"Triclosan is an ingredient added to many consumer products to reduce or prevent bacterial contamination."  Studies have shown that triclosan is a hormone disrupter, which can effect the thyroid, cause learning disabilities, and can lead to infertility or breast/prostate cancer.  As if that's not bad enough, triclosan can also create antibiotic resistant bacteria, meaning if you come down with an infection and take antibiotics for it, the antibiotics won't be effective in killing off the bacteria.  Antibiotic-resistant bacteria has been the cause of over 60,000 deaths each year.

It's not just in toothpaste, either.  It's in antibacterial hand sanitizers and soaps, many body care products, cosmetics, even clothing, furniture, and toys!

Sodium Lauryl Sulfate

This is a cleansing agent and detergent that can damage eyes and irritate skin.  It can stay in the body for up to five days and accumulate in the heart, liver, lungs, and brain.  It can even be carcinogenic (cancer-causing) when combined with other chemicals.

Propylene Glycol

This stuff is everywhere.  It's the active ingredient in antifreeze.  Interestingly enough, the EPA won't allow its workers to handle it without wearing protective gear, yet it's perfectly acceptable to slather it on our bodies in soaps or scrub it into our gums (and how many of you brush your tongues too?).  It's in lotions, sprays and colognes, cosmetics, even personal lubricants.  It can be rapidly absorbed into the skin and can cause some big problems for the brain, liver, kidneys, and other organs.

Polyethelene Microbeads

Plastic.  Tiny little plastic microbeads that are intended to be a mild abrasive to help whiten teeth.  Instead they get embedded into your gums and between your teeth and cause more harm than good.  They're also in scrubs and body washes as an exfoliant.  But it's not just your gums it's harming, it's the environment too, as they slip through water treatment plants and spill into our waterways, lakes and oceans.  Fish eat the microbeads and the pollutants in them, and then in turn they work their way up the food chain back to humans.

Natural First Aid Kit and Homemade Toothpaste (And Fire Ant Rescue Salve...)

Now that's an odd title... But, interestingly enough, it's true!

I've been eager to write this article but I couldn't remember the exact recipe for my toothpaste, which I wanted to share with you, so I had to make another one up and make sure I got it right.

We took a family vacation to Myrtle Beach the last week in July and drove down in two days.  We had an awesome time - the boys loved the beach, we got some good quality family time in, everyone did great in the car, and we got to tour a really neat cave on our way back.  As for personal experiences, I was pretty tickled with the fact that this was quite possibly the only vacation I came back from that I didn't weigh more than I did when I left.  I packed coolers with lots of healthy foods (turkey, lettuce for wraps, pickles, carrots with homemade ranch dip, fresh cherries, etc.) and we stopped at rest areas to eat lunch on our way there.  This also helped us save money too since we didn't have to eat at so many restaurants.  I also skipped breakfast on some days to help prevent me from consuming too many calories on days that I knew weren't going to be as healthy, and I did notice I felt pretty good those days.  Check out my last article about Intermittent Fasting for more information on that.

Before we left I packed my natural first aid kit.  The only item from a typical Western pharmacopeia was ibuprofen, which we fortunately did not need.  I tried to think of everything we might need as far as common ailments go, and I think I did pretty well.

Natural First Aid Kit

I know I've written about this before but I've added to it and changed some things.  Here's my original post about a traveling first aid kit, but now that I'm no longer with Young Living I've changed a few things (there were a few YL oils in the first one).  Here's what I brought on this vacation:

Olive Leaf Extract: It's a preventive measure, it strengthens the immune system to help fight off something you may have already caught or are dealing with, the health benefits are endless.  This is our go-to whenever we come down with something.

Papaya Enzyme: Great for indigestion and settling an upset stomach.  They're chewable, taste waaaaay better than Tums, and are safer for you too.  Harlee loves them, we call them "tummy candy".

Arnica 30X or 200C: Homeopathic remedy for muscle aches and pains.  Definitely necessary if someone falls or hurts themselves.

Ipecacuanha 30X: Homeopathic remedy for nausea and vomiting.  Don’t wanna be doing that on vacation!  Settles the stomach and keeps ya going!

Nux Vomica 30X: Another homeopathic remedy for stomach upset, especially from overeating.  We all know that happens on vacation.

Chamomilla 30X: A very calming homeopathic remedy.  I wasn't sure how the boys, especially Elliot, would adjust to sleeping in a new environment and being away from home so this was good to have on hand.  Luckily we didn't need it.

Homeopathic Eardrops and Eyedrops

Coconut Oil: To mix with the EOs listed below:

Lavender EO: Still one of my favorite essential oils due to its versatility.  Calming and soothing to the nerves to help with sleep, very healing for bumps and bruises or burns, can work as a bug repellant, and takes the itch out of bug bites.  It's also a natural antihistamine, so it's great for allergies too!

Tea Tree EO: This is a great disinfectant while being safe for kids (most EOs are not safe for little kids, please be aware of that).  So it's my go-to for wound cleaning and healing.

Peppermint EO: In case Mom or Dad get indigestion.  Peppermint is not safe for little kids, we use papaya tablets if Harlee gets a tummy ache, or a homeopathic remedy for Elliot.

Germ Fighter EO blend (Plant Therapy, it's equivalent to Thieves or OnGuard): A powerful immune system booster and helps ward off illness.  Not safe for kids, though if we're dealing with something severe I'll dilute it with a good amount of coconut oil and put it on their feet or back.  It helps, but I only use it sparingly and usually as a last resort.  It's got some powerful oils in it and should be used with caution.

Aloe Vera Gel: For sunburns

Natural Sunscreen: I used Blue Lizard, and I'll probably write about sunscreen one of these days, as the conventional stuff just isn't good for you and could potentially cause you just as much skin cancer as too much sun exposure could.

And Homemade Toothpaste.  Which would originally have been put in a personal care category but it made it to the natural first aid kit list because it pretty much saved the day.

Homemade Toothpaste

First of all, why did I make my own toothpaste?  Well, I've decided it's best to save the answer to this for the next post, because it's a topic in and of itself covering a lot of different areas from fluoride to plastic to carcinogenic (cancer-causing) substances.  Lots of stuff I don't want in my mouth, or in my family's.

Please take the time to read that post when I get it published.

Homemade toothpaste is pretty easy to make!

Here's my recipe:

1/4 cup coconut oil (I used refined because I don't really care for the flavor of coconut in toothpaste)
1 tbsp baking soda
1/2 tsp Bentonite clay
1/4 tsp colloidal silver
1 packet stevia powder
~5 drops of pure spearmint essential oil (I don't get caught up in the hype of the multi-level marketing EO companies.  Young Living and DoTerra are just fine, but I'm happy going the more inexpensive route and ordering from Plant Therapy.  Mountain Rose Herbs is another company I've heard good things about too, but there are plenty more out there to choose from.  Keep an open mind when it comes to EOs!)

I mix all that together in a small mason jar and either dip into it with my brush or use a pallet knife (or Elliot's spoon) to scoop some on.  I love how clean my teeth feel when I use it too - it's fabulous!

What's the Bentonite clay for?  Well, it's a mild abrasive, so it's great for scrubbing the teeth and gums and whitening teeth, but it's also a very absorbent clay.  It has the ability to attract and absorb toxins in the body, including fluoride and heavy metals, and allow them to either pass through the digestive system if you take it internally (look for calcium bentonite clay for that purpose).  I'll fill you in on the benefits of taking bentonite clay internally in a later post.  But absorbing toxins in the mouth is definitely a good thing!

And what about the colloidal silver?  Bacteria can't live on silver, and silver in turn kills bacteria it comes in contact with.  Ever heard of Norwex cleaning supplies?  Their cloths and products have silver woven into the fibers, which allows you to clean contaminated surfaces just with water, no chemicals!  It's great to use as a natural antibiotic when you're sick, and I definitely like adding it to my toothpaste both to keep bacteria from living in it, and to kill the bacteria in my mouth.  Win-win!

Why is this in my first aid kit?

So on our second day of travel, we stopped at a rest area in South Carolina for lunch.  Harlee wanted to try to climb a tree, and just as he stepped at the base of the tree, he started SCREAMING.  It was awful, but we couldn't figure out what the problem was.  Justin picked him up and we immediately both saw quite a few ants all over his foot.  We both started brushing and swatting them away, all the while Harlee was clearly in a lot of pain (he wouldn't stop screaming and we were attracting a lot of attention from passers-by).  Luckily I had Elliot strapped in his stroller so I didn't have to worry about him wandering off.  I carried Harlee back to the car where I fortunately had my first aid kit in an easily accessible location.  He was still crying quite a bit, but had at least calmed down enough for me to figure out what to do.  I asked him what the pain felt like, if it was a burning pain or stinging pain, and he said it burned.  I was thinking all along that I was pretty sure these were fire ants.  I immediately put a few drops of lavender and tea tree oil on his foot with some coconut oil.  Lavender is good for burns and insect bites, and it's also very healing.  Tea tree is disinfectant, so I put that on there to be safe.  I also rubbed some aloe gel on his foot as well, just in case that helped with the burning.  He was still crying, but he said it was starting to feel a little better.  But I guess another burst of pain kicked in because he started screaming and kicking again, and that's when I saw my homemade toothpaste.  A lightbulb went off - it's got everything in it!  The coconut oil is healing and soothing, the baking soda is neutralizing for stings and burns, and the bentonite clay draws out toxins.  I started slathering it on his foot like it was going out of style, and that's when he finally relaxed.

After rubbing some oils on, before my lightbulb moment

I got him buckled into his car seat, transferred the first aid kit to the front seat with me, Justin had already buckled Elliot in and ready to go, and we hit the road.  Harlee did start complaining that it was burning again about five minutes or so down the road, so I slathered on some more toothpaste and a little lavender oil, and he relaxed again.

Left: you can see the bumps have gone down.  Right: Slathered with toothpaste

He fell asleep, and when he woke up he said it didn't hurt anymore, and he never mentioned it again for the rest of the trip.  I did look up information about fire ants, and I'm pretty much 99.9% certain that's what got him.  They're pretty prevalent in the south east, they attack anything that steps on their nest, and they don't stop stinging until you get them off of you.  The pain burns too, like he described.  Ugh, poor Harlee...

The next day at the hotel - bumps are still there, but he said they didn't hurt!

Apis is now added to my first aid kit, which is a homeopathic remedy for stings and swelling, and the toothpaste is coming with me anytime we travel from now on, not just for oral hygiene, but for any potential cases like that fire ant attack too!  Hopefully we never need it again, but thank goodness it was there.  And thank goodness I thought to use it!

The Other Side of Hardship, Depression, Pain, and Trauma

It seems like there is a lot of trouble in many people's lives at the moment.  Have you noticed that?  It's to the point where I kind of just want to hide from the world so as not to disrupt the balance that I actually do have in my life.  Things are just really good right now.  Solid and happy and just plain ol' good.  But sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the whole wide world who can say that.  I'll get caught up in wondering why, and then think, "Uh oh, are we next?"  But I stop myself and remember, no, we already had our turn.  Harlee gave us the gift of pain, of turmoil, of rough waters.  And when I say "gift" I really do mean that, because once we worked through it, the pain and heartache really did turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

This is something I've been wanting to write about for quite some time now.  There have been a few things holding me back though: not being able to get all my thoughts organized and my point across, fear of people thinking I'm weird, and fear of people not understanding me.  I've decided to quit caring what people think of me and just try my best to write this, because it's bound to help someone, even if it's just one person, and that's all that matters.

I've learned so much on my journey of healing after Harlee's birth.  If you don't know my back story, keep reading.  If you do, you can skip down to the next section.  Basically, I was desperately hoping for a homebirth, basically because of my natural outlook on life and desire to live that way, and also because of my fear of hospitals, and I got the exact polar opposite of that - late decels in his heartrate during labor, a trip to the hospital, and an emergency c-section.  I'll never forget the day I sat in the living room with my tiny newborn, watching my husband and midwife deflate the unused birthing pool, realizing all my hopes and dreams and everything I believed in deflated with it.

That's where everything started.  Hopes and dreams deflated and lost; questioning God and the Universe (things I once felt so confident and comfortable with); sleep deprivation with a colicky baby; PTSD from a scary, unwanted major surgery; and depression.  Cold, raw, ugly depression.  Complete with nightmares, intrusive visions, loss of motivation, loss of desire to keep moving forward, anger at loved ones, anger and disgust with myself, uncontrollable outbursts, and loss of all hope in a brighter future.  Not to mention a complete uncertainty of how to get out of this mess.

So, I started going to ICAN meetings - a support group of the International Cesarean Awareness Network which is "a nonprofit organization whose mission is to improve maternal-child health by preventing unnecessary cesareans through education, providing support for cesarean recovery, and promoting Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC)."  I met some awesome people who had been through what I'd been through and knew the defeat and loss I was feeling.  They guided me toward looking into counseling for further healing.  I began seeing a counselor who specializes in postpartum depression.  I brought Justin with me a few times because our marriage was crumbling under my intense mood swings and his inability to understand what I was going through.  I will, to this day, say that decision saved our marriage and is the reason it is as strong as it is today.  Unfortunately that counselor wasn't exactly who I needed in my life to further my personal healing, but I will say she did catapult me into taking matters into my own hands.  She said my PTSD and postpartum depression were pretty bad, and recommended that maybe I should try getting on a pharmaceutical antidepressant.  I guess she hadn't caught on that I prefer to avoid drugs, and it was medical interventions that got me in this mess in the first place, therefore getting on an antidepressant would kind of defeat the purpose for me.  So I stopped seeing her, and fortunately realized, wow, if I'm in that bad of shape, I really need to do something.  The best things for depression are diet and exercise, and a great supplement to support healthy moods is St. John's Wort.  I wrote a post about depression, click here if you'd like to read more about it as a condition and how to treat it naturally.  So I got on St. John's Wort, started watching what I was eating, and started jogging around the neighborhood with Harlee in the jogging stroller (ok so I started out walking, then kind of awkwardly trotting because I was overweight and sucked at running, then slowly worked my way into what you might consider a jog).  One thing led to another and I discovered the Paleo diet, cut out grains and bad carbs, signed up for personal training, discovered CrossFit, lost weight, felt great, and finally got my life back.  But in the midst of all that, something was still a bit off.  I didn't feel quite balanced yet, or healed from what happened with Harlee's birth.

I believe everything happens for a reason.  I believe in Divine Intervention.  I strongly questioned all of those beliefs after the turn of events with Harlee's birth, but all my questions are gone now.  In the moment I was thinking about going back to counseling because I didn't feel quite right yet, but I wasn't sure if there was a point to it or who I'd even go to, I came across a brochure for a counselor in Kirkwood and I felt a kind of pull when I read it.  I called her up, scheduled an appointment, and, let's just say my healing journey just got real.

She encouraged me to keep a journal and start writing down all of my thoughts and feelings.  That was one of the best things I did for my mental and emotional healing.  I processed my questions, and in my stillness in pondering my questions on paper, I found answers in my heart.  I started piecing things together, not just from Harlee's birth but from my whole life.  Seriously, if you need a good way to process your feelings and thoughts but can't afford or don't have time for a counselor, write it all out in a journal.  Give it a try, it's hugely cathartic.

This went on for about two years.  And then, I felt brave enough to tackle one of my biggest fears - getting pregnant again and facing the unknown of birth.  So I did, and then we miscarried.  And interestingly enough, the healing process after that was pretty smooth.  I knew it happened for a reason, and I accepted that even though I may not understand it now, I'd understand it later, and find gratitude in it.  Then we got pregnant again, and, after a very awesome and empowering pregnancy, I gave birth to Elliot at home (after a long, grueling labor).

Where I'm at Now

Now here I am, nearly 14 months after that event, and I've been happily floating through life without having to dig deeply into my soul or answer existential questions about my presence here like I had been for the past two to three years.

Instead, I've been observing.  I've seen my friends and clients and community go through traumas and losses - death of parents, of children, of friends, of colleagues.  Heart attacks, strokes, cancer, car accidents.  Separations and divorces for an array of different causes.  Losses of jobs and financial security.  Miscarriages, stillbirths.  Rapes, suicides.  Near-death experiences with long roads of recovery.  So much trauma and pain.  And more and more people are opening up about depression.  Asking me for advice on how to heal, where to go from here.

And all I can think for you, if you fit in one of the aforementioned categories, is, Wow, you are actually really lucky.  Like, you have no idea.

You are so, so lucky.  You don't see it now.  You feel the exact opposite of lucky.  The exact opposite of blessed, of fortunate, of all these things I think of you right now.  You do not see a light at the end of your long, dark, tunnel.  But I do.  I've been down that tunnel.  I've been down in that hole.  And let me tell you the light on the other side is brilliant.  It's beautiful.  And that light is exactly where life is trying to send you.

But it takes work to get to that light.  Probably the hardest work you will ever do in your life.  So much soul searching, so many questions.  But don't give up.  Keep asking questions.  Ask for help.  Be open to answers, to guidance.  You're on a journey - take it one step at a time, one day at a time.

Surrender.  You've hit rock bottom.  There's only one direction to go: up.  Surrender yourself to the Higher Power and let the answers come to you.

Maybe you'll find the perfect book or article with answers.  Maybe you'll meet someone who's got a perfect solution, maybe a new exercise buddy or someone with insight to healthy eating to help you make a lifestyle change.  Maybe you'll come across the perfect counselor or therapist.  Maybe you'll wallow in grief and self-pity until you get so sick of your own self you slap yourself out of it and get in gear to make changes.  Even if the change is something as simple as seeing your doctor to get on a medication.  I know medication isn't for me, but I see no shame in it - if you're taking action to better yourself and your situation, then that's commendable, no matter what you choose.

Stay open and aware.  Be receptive to signs guiding your way.  Think things through before making decisions.  Weigh your options and the consequences that come with your decisions on where to go next.  Be open to the love and support that comes from the people around you, but don't abuse it.  Be humble.  Be gentle.  Be aware.

If you work at this, and find your way up out of that hole, the person you are about to become is someone you never dreamed you'd be.  Someone you never knew you had in you.  The strength inside you is immense, the awareness profound.  Just wait til you get there.  It's amazing.  You're going to learn so much from this.  And if you get there, then you'll understand why I say you're lucky to have hit bottom.

But you can only get there if you are willing to work for it.

Just don't give up.

Someday this will all make sense.  Someday you will be able to look back on these hard times with forgiveness, and perhaps even gratitude.  Because it made you a better and stronger person.  A happier person, living a more fulfilling life.  And you earned it!

Today I look back on all that I went through and I can honestly say I feel grateful for the experience.  I feel like I gained so much insight from it, so much perspective on life, that I never had before.  And I feel stronger and braver, too - if something bad happens, I know that it's for a reason, and I'll get through it and be a better person because of it.  And knowing that makes the bad things seem not as bad.  I still struggle.  I still have fears.  I still have bad days.  But in the grand scheme of things, life is pretty awesome, and it's all because at one point life really really sucked, and I made the decision to heal and grow from it.

And you can do that too.

Intermittent Fasting

A great thing has happened in my life!  I saw a commercial for Dell where you can buy a laptop and get a free TV, so Justin and I decided to just go for it, let's get a new laptop.  The old one works okay-ish, it's just super slow and frustrating when I try to use it for photo editing and whatnot.  So the new laptop came, the old one moved to my office, and now during my freetime at work I can finally BLOG again!!  I'm so happy!  I've missed this so much, but at home there are things higher on my priority list than sitting at the computer typing my thoughts about healthy lifestyles.  For instance, actually living the healthy lifestyle I talk about is important.  Instilling that in my kids, teaching them about good food and natural healing, staying healthy and what to do to take care of your body when you do get sick.  I grew up with a natural healing mindset, and that's why I have a broad spectrum of knowledge on it today.  I want that same thing for my kids.

Anyway!  Gosh, so much has happened since I last blogged... We took a family vacation to Myrtle Beach, we went camping, Justin and I ran our first official 5k in two years, and in the meantime I've been really encouraging Harlee's interest in cooking, too, as my Facebook friends have probably noticed with all the "Chef Harlee" videos ^_^.  I've tried and invented new recipes, learned new bits of information, discovered new remedies, so it's hard to narrow down my list of things to share on this blog and choose just one for this post.  I figured I'd just follow up with my last post, in which I mentioned intermittent fasting.  Then I'll go from there!

Intermittent Fasting

I've been giving the intermittent fasting thing a try, and I must say I'm sold.  There is a lot of information out there to back up why it's so effective, and according to my results, I'd say it's working.  I wanted to be sure to share this information with you and tell you about my experience.  Because, guess what?  It's a super easy way to lose weight!  Who doesn't want that??  But there are more important things to it than just losing weight, which makes it even better.

Here's the article from The Paleo Mom that I shared in my last post (I may have talked about Sarah, "The Paleo Mom" before, but I'll just briefly mention that I love her articles, she takes a very unbiased, scientific approach to things, backing her work with tons of research, and she's got an impressive educational background to support it).  I'll share a few tidbits from that article in this post.

What Is It?

Intermittent fasting is a way of scheduling your eating, rather than a diet.  You can still consume your normal amount of calories, just in a different time span, and you'd fast the rest of the time.  This doesn't have to be done daily, but you can.  The most beneficial amount of time to go on a fast is between 16 and 24 hours.  It takes anywhere from 6-12 hours for your body to completely deplete its glycogen, or stored sugar.  So if you eat three meals a day, your body never depletes its glycogen, and you're constantly burning that as your fuel rather than being able to switch to your body to burning fat as fuel.  Of course there are a lot of other elements to this, such as what you eat as well as when you eat (like restricting your carb and sugar intake to switch into fat burning mode).  But I'm finding that IF-ing is a super easy way to switch your body into burning fat for fuel.

For most people, the easiest way to fast is to simply skip breakfast.  For example, you finish eating dinner at 8pm, and you don't eat again until noon the next day, which would be 16 hours later (nearly twice as long as it takes you to deplete your glycogen).  If you want to go the full 24 hours, you won't eat again until 8pm the next day.  Or you can skip dinner, and stop eating after lunch at noon and start eating again at noon the next day.  You can tailor it to your lifestyle, which is one of the many nice things about IF-ing!

Now, if 16 hours is plenty to get your body to burn energy from your fat stores, why would you go a full 24 hours?  Well, there are a ton more benefits than just weight loss and fat burning.

How Does it Work?

Let's get all sciency!  What's going on in the body when we eat?  So as I already explained, it can take 6-12 hours for your body to metabolize your glycogen stores and burn it up before it can start burning fat.  So your body will burn energy from your blood stream - aka the food you just ate - before it'll burn your fat.  If you ate a lot of carbs/sugar, it'll burn that up first.  That's why it's hard to lose weight if you consume a lot of carbs/sugar.  And if you keep replenishing your glycogen by eating frequently, it's harder for your body to burn your fat as fuel.

However, if you're fasting, your body doesn't have any food to burn energy from, so it automatically burns from your fat stores.  Yay!

If you want to look at this on a cellular level, you'll see a process called "autophagy", which is when a starving cell breaks down its own components (including damaged elements of the cell) to fuel more important cell processes.  Autophagy has many benefits such as destroying viruses and bacteria, or helping the cell identify a viral infection, or even preventing cells from becoming cancerous!  I think I like that even better then the weight loss!

More Benefits  

Now that you know how it works on a basic level and a scientific level, let's list some of the benefits of intermittent fasting (copied from the Paleo Mom article):

1. Increase lifespan. 
2. Increase insulin sensitivity, which can result in an increase in insulin signaling in the brain which is thought to be how fasting/calorie restriction works to increase lifespan.
3. Lower blood lipids, triglycerides and other markers of metabolic syndrome.
4. Fight/prevent cancer.  There is also some evidence that fasting before chemotherapy treatments can help reduce the negative side effects. 
5. Increase growth hormone secretion (which builds muscle and burns fat).
6. Normalize expression of the hunger hormone ghrelin, thereby reducing appetite.
7. Promote brain and peripheral nervous system health which can result in boosting the mood, memory, and mental clarity.
8. Increase dopamine production, meaning we get more enjoyment from less food. 
9. Increase energy through regulating metabolic hormones.

And one of my favorites: Intermittent Fasting is a little like hitting a reset button.  It can help curb sugar cravings, restore energy, and even promote deeper sleep.

Guess what?  I've experienced a lot of these benefits.  My hunger and appetite have been curbed and I'm less interested in food, I've been sleeping amazingly well and I feel so refreshed in the morning, I'm less and less interested in sweets the more I try fasting, and I've been feeling overall GOOD.  Plus, I've been losing weight without losing strength.

Another thing I like about it is that it's an easy way to restrict calories in a day.  Calorie restriction has been proven to have TONS of benefits, but it's next to impossible to stick with as hunger is a basic human function that's hard to override, when you cut your meals down to smaller sizes, that'll probably drive most of you crazy.  With intermittent fasting, you eat normal-sized meals, but in smaller windows of time (such as skipping breakfast as mentioned above). Here's a little more information about all that.

Why It Makes Sense to Me

Since discovering Paleo, I feel like I've compared everything to "the caveman days".  Not that I know exactly what those days were like - for instance they probably ate bugs, and I'm not real keen on that idea, and they very well could have eaten grains, which the modern Paleo diet says they didn't.  Another example is that if I were a cavewoman, and I found a peanut, I'd eat the peanut.  Modern Paleo is against peanuts.  There's a lot of gray area, and I just kind of hang out in that gray area rather than go full-blown strict with it.  But there are a lot of elements that make sense, like eating what's available to us through nature, because that's what our bodies were designed to consume from day one.  That, to me, is the focal point of Paleo.  Intermittent fasting fits very will with the Paleo lifestyle, because I'm sure our primal ancestors didn't schedule specific mealtimes and eat around the clock.  They ate depending on what was available to them, and that may have meant going without eating for spans of time depending on the success of their hunt or what they gathered or foraged.  Our bodies would have had to be able to still function in a fasting state - we'd have been in big trouble if it was necessary to our health to eat constantly throughout the day.

Where I'm At on my IF Journey

So far, I've loved my experience with IF-ing.  It took a little bit of growth and self-awareness to get to a good place with it, though.  One of my pain issues has been junk food.  I have definitely noticed that I don't crave sweets nearly as much, if at all, when I'm fasting, but that craving isn't gone permanently.  During my research to learn more about the health benefits of IF, I came across this article, which was full of good information but also a bad statement:

It’s with an intermittent fasting protocol that I feel you really can have your cake and eat it too. You need to be strict with the timing aspect, but besides that I’ve found you can eat a lot more of the foods you love but “should” abstain from on a daily basis.

Yes. Daily. (I’m not saying you should go and eat McDonalds every day, but treats can certainly be included).

I latched onto that and started using IF as a crutch.  I'm human, and I'm not going to hold back the negative details from you!  I started learning about IF around spring/early summer.  We had lots of picnics and parties and holidays and therefore lots of bad food.  I got excited when I read the article I just mentioned because it basically said it was okay to eat that stuff, I'd just have to fast before or after doing it to deflect the negative consequences.

It took a few times of feeling like absolute crap after eating junk (tired, fatigued, run-down, foggy brain, etc.), regardless of the fasting, to remember that I'm on a health journey here.  I'm in this for the long haul.  I want to keep my body healthy, and not only look good but feel good.  Paleo has become a lifestyle for me, and I want to keep it that way.  I think it's okay to indulge on treats every great once in awhile, but not make it a habit, and definitely not make excuses for it by fasting around it.

So now, at this point in my journey, I'm being careful with it.  Yes, if we wind up going out and I overindulge on not-so-healthy food, I will fast afterward to help my body along.  But I'm careful with my mindset - it's not an excuse to eat junk, and I'm not going to make a habit of it.  However I am human, and sometimes I just want to taste junk food.  Otherwise, I fast when it's convenient.  I don't do it daily, but usually 2-3 times a week.  Sometimes I'm rushed in the morning and it's just easier if I don't have to think about my own breakfast, then I wind up waiting until lunch to eat.  I've been continuing to lose weight, inches, and body fat, so whatever I'm doing is working for me.

Is This For You?

Intermittent fasting is not for everyone!  If you have a health concern, like diabetes or hypertension or whatnot, you should probably talk with a health care professional first (preferably someone with an open, holistic mindset!).  Especially if you have a blood sugar-related disease, IF-ing isn't for you.  Of course if you're pregnant or nursing, you should hold off on trying it as well.  Also, if you're happy with where you're at in life, your current diet and exercise plan is working great for you, and your body and health is right where you want it, then you probably don't need to mess with IF.  Though according to the research, a good 24-hour fast a few times a year may not be a bad idea!

Also, I came across a couple articles about how IF-ing may not be the best thing for women.  I haven't found any issues while trying it, but it's worth mentioning too.

Here's a very good article about possible health concerns regarding women and IF-ing:  http://paleoforwomen.com/shattering-the-myth-of-fasting-for-women-a-review-of-female-specific-responses-to-fasting-in-the-literature/

And here's a very interesting story about one woman's demise with IF-ing: http://civilizedcavemancooking.com/reviews/how-intermittent-fasting-saved-mewhile-slowly-killing-me/

I'm sharing that with you because it's not a perfect approach.  Yes, it can be "too good to be true", especially if used incorrectly.  I could have wound up where Kaleigh, the author of the last article I just shared, wound up.  Luckily I had a wake-up call before it got out of control.

Be Smart

Don't obsess over it.  LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.  That's the number one important thing!  Nourish your body with healthy foods found in nature, not processed junk from factories.  Fasting can have wonderful health benefits, if you're doing it with the right intentions and the right goals.

I'm going to stick with this IF lifestyle, I'm really liking it!  Especially now that I feel that I'm doing it for the right reason - to obtain the health benefits from it, not six-pack abs.  I'm not fasting every day, but rather at the most convenient times throughout the week, between 1-3 times a week for 16 hours at a time, or a full 24 hours if I really feel I need a recharge (but that's only maybe once a month).  I break fast with clean, Paleo or mostly-Paleo foods, I don't binge on gigantic platefuls of food when I break fast, and I stick with clean foods throughout the days between fasting.  I try to focus on eating when I'm hungry, and stopping when I'm full.  Plain and simple.  And IF has actually helped with my stress levels too, as when I fast it usually involves skipping breakfast, which allows me more time in the morning to get the boys' breakfasts made and while they're eating I can prepare lunches for the day or get caught up on some cleaning or whatever - who doesn't like extra free time in the morning??

So I'm happy with where I am right now.  If you decide to try it, let me know what you experience!  But most of all BE SMART and BE SAFE about it.  Obsessing over it or using it as an excuse to eat poorly can ruin everything.  Make your health your priority, and find what works for you!

For more information about IF, check out this article on NerdFitnes.com, it's a good one!