A Bit of Prego Venting...

Well, I'm tired of being the fragile pregnant lady now.  So far time has been moving fairly quickly, but if things keep going the way they have these past few days then July may never get here...  I'm going to vent a little bit.  I'm tired of being told "Oh, don't overdo it now!" when people hear I'm working out, rather than being happy for me that I'm doing something good for myself and ultimately the baby.  I'm tired of not "being able" to lift things, like my bags of sheets I take into the laundromat.  I carried them in there to get washed, didn't I?  I think I can get them back out when they're finished.  I spent the entire past summer working out and yes, it's been awhile since I've done a really good workout, but I still have enough muscle mass to carry a measly twenty pounds.  I vent to Justin about this, and he says to just let people help me, it doesn't hurt anything.  Yes it does, it hurts my ego :-(.  Then he says to just take advantage of it, and appreciate the people who are courteous enough to lend a hand.  Okay that's fine, but some of these people have literally glared at me when I reach for something "heavy", like I'm a bad mother or something for thinking I can lift it myself and not letting them do it.  What's that all about?

I have run into a few negative situations so far already.  Like the debate of finding out the gender or waiting.  It's amazing how many people will moan and groan or look at me in disbelief or tell me I'm making a bad decision when I tell them we're finding out what we're having.  One person actually went so far as to tell me finding out "ruins everything".  What??  It's the birth of a baby, if it's healthy, nothing can "ruin" it, what a horrible thing to say!

Another recent thing too is the pregnancy weight gain issue.  I've had people tell me I'm doing great and looking good, followed shortly thereafter by, "But don't be too surprised or upset if you all of a sudden put on a lot of weight and just blow up, that does happen to a lot of people you know."  Um... thanks?  What do I do with that?  Is that even advice?  I can tune that out though.  I have to gloat a little and say I'm really really happy with how things have been coming along so far.  I'll admit my weight, I started out this pregnancy at 162lbs.  That's still a large number in my head, but not as large as it used to be... and I'll repeat my mantra: muscle weighs more than fat, muscle weighs more than fat...  Well I lost a lot of weight in the first trimester, and here I am 17 weeks along and I'm still only 160.  My pants still fit, though a couple of them do need the rubber band trick, but that only started within the past week.  So, yeah, I'm proud of myself.  I'm in that "in-between" stage of pregnancy where the bump is really starting to form, and I actually don't feel like a fat blob instead of a pregnant lady.  I feel like a pregnant lady.  And having Justin's support is what really makes this whole growing process easy for me, too.  The way he looks at the baby bump, he looks so proud and excited, and always tells me how "cute" it is and how excited he is that I'm starting to show.  That really feels good, and is doing wonders for the whole self-image thing.  Thanks, honey :-).

But really, I don't think it's that hard to maintain weight while pregnant.  Yes we get really crazy cravings, but you can still have the same willpower to eat in moderation.  You don't need to eat for two.  Just eat healthy, and listen to your body - eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full.  The baby will get everything it needs as it grows.  It is hard to tell what "hunger" is though, I must admit, but I did a little research on that too.  Our blood sugar levels are all over the place while those hormones are surging, and with those being out of whack it can give us a false hunger sensation.  If I feel like I might be hungry, but not quite sure (like if nothing sounds good to eat), I usually drink something like juice or milk.  That usually seems to balance me out enough to make the hunger feelings go away.  I have actually been eating much less than I did before I got pregnant.  I guess I owe it to being sick in the first trimester, my appetite never fully got back on track and I can't eat as much as I used to because it just doesn't fit.  But all in all I feel really good about how everything's been coming along.

I'll probably have more to vent about in the future, but for now I hope I can run into more positive people who will tell me wonderful, encouraging things about pregnancy.  For those of you who are trying to make this a negative experience for me, just go away. :-)

Snow Day

I am laying on the couch "enjoying" yet another snow day.  This one came out of nowhere!  Justin and I woke up to practically a blizzard this morning.  He went ahead and braved the conditions to go to work, but called me along the way saying to stay inside, it's not worth trying to get out.  Which sucks because I was really excited about going back to the Healing Arts Center for an extended education class in homeopathic cell salts I had signed up for not too long ago.  I was also excited to get out of here because I am getting cabin fever!!  Going to HAC would have been such a welcome break - being in small town southern Illinois ALL THE TIME kinda sucks a lot out of me, and I've been becoming increasingly aware of that since I graduated in 2009.  I felt so much more positive, stronger as a person and energetically, when I was there practicing energy work and staying on top of it.  It felt so good, and I felt so good, and now here I am back in an area where what I learned is completely foreign to everyone and I just kinda fell into the old lifestyle...  And I know I need energy work back in my life, or at least a stronger field surrounding me, especially now that I'm nurturing a little one to bring into the world this summer, and going back to my school would have reminded me of what I've been missing this past year...  Oh well, maybe this is a sign or a reminder that it's in me regardless, I just need to find the tools to uncover it on my own.

So I did some prenatal yoga this morning and wow that felt great!  I need to remember to do this every day!  It was awesome, really focused on connecting with the baby and being surrounded by love and positive energy.  What a great environment for both of us to be in...  It coincides with a book I'm reading called Painless Childbirth by Guiditta Torneta.  I'll be honest, I bought the book while I was still having a lot of fears and reservations about labor and delivery (and oh my lord did I have some fears!  I couldn't even bring myself to think about that final day(s) of pregnancy and what I would go through to bring this child into the world...) and the title itself drew me in.  "Childbirth, painless?  No way...  Tell me more!" and I read reviews from so many women saying they applied what they learned in the book and they too had a painless childbirth.  The birth being all natural, no medical interventions, just to clear that up for the Westerners reading this.  So of course I bought it.  Turns out it's basically a shift in the mindset about childbirth, and it's a step-by-step guide to balancing our energy and emotions during each stage in pregnancy.  It's wonderful, full of great food for thought.  For the first time I'm not fearing that day (or days, depending how long this little guy decides to take!) but actually looking forward to it.  And yes I fully intend to do it all-natural.  I know I'm capable of it, why wouldn't I be?  And it'll be pretty empowering knowing I did, too.

Anyway.  Just rattling some stuff off my mind.  Technically I'm also procrastinating... this snow day is a perfect opportunity for me to actually get some stuff done!  Like this 16x20 drawing I'm supposed to be working on for a guy in Kentucky, or cleaning bathrooms, or vacuuming floors, or mopping the kitchen and bathrooms, or finishing all the cleaning and organizing for the baby's room, or going through stuff for the yard sale, etc., etc., etc.....  Sigh.  When does "nesting" kick in?  Because I'm experiencing the exact opposite - I am officially lazy.  And it's pretty frustrating!  But I can't seem to get myself in gear...  I guess I'll force myself to get it done.  I'll just try to stay focused on the rewarding, accomplished feeling I'll have at the end when I'm putting my feet up and watching TV...  Wish me luck!