Sunday, October 18, 2015

Breastfeeding: A Love-Hate Relationship

While I'm on the subject of TMI (did you read my last post about yeast infections? lovely...) and now that my breastfeeding days have drawn to a close, I've decided to talk about it.  I want to share my honesty, as well as personal advice for other BF mamas.  If you're a hardcore breastfeeding advocate, you may not like this post a whole lot, but I encourage you to read it regardless.

I want to talk both about the emotional aspects and the physical aspects of breastfeeding.  I'll start with physical.  I don't know enough about it to give much in-depth advice, believe it or not, but I'll cover what I do know here, so if I miss something you'd like more information about then get in touch with a lactation counselor, or check out La Leche League either online or find your local group, or KellyMom.com has good info too.

Breastfeeding has, thankfully, been easy for me.  Which is why I haven't done a whole lot of research on it - it's just something that came naturally.  I can imagine how devastating it must be for moms who can't or who struggle - it seems as though their emotions somewhat match the emotions I had after my c-section with Harlee and I was left feeling broken and defective.  You feel like you failed yourself and you failed your child and everyone looks at you as a failure.  I honestly don't believe ALL women can do it.  Difficulty is something women faced throughout history.  Ever heard of a wet nurse?  She's a breastfeeding mom who nurses the child of a mom who couldn't do it.  I don't know what the reasons are for not being able to, but if you're one of those women, it's okay.  You're not defective.  Of the women who were unsuccessful, however, I do believe a lot of them could have done it with a proper support team and the proper information provided to them.  Which is another reason to get in touch with a lactation counselor or La Leche League.  If you're relying on a breastfeeding class provided by your hospital, you're probably not going to get a whole lot, sorry.

Like I said, I've had a pretty smooth breastfeeding experience.  With Harlee I didn't have much of a clientele built up at work so I was able to leave him for short periods of time with my mom or grandma and come back to feed him without needing to pump in between.  I'd still pump just to make sure I was producing extra in the event I did need to leave him longer, but otherwise this set-up worked well.

Breastfeeding is a supply-and-demand kind of thing.  If there isn't a demand, your body will supply less and less.  If there's more of a demand, your body will do what it can to keep up, provided you're well hydrated, healthy, and other factors like stress or illness or medication don't hinder you.  Nursing the baby directly produces more than just strictly pumping, too.

When both my boys were born, I felt like I was producing enough to keep up with quadruplets.  It was crazy.  Within a month or so it regulated, though, and I wasn't feeling constantly engorged nor was I drowning them every time they ate.

With Elliot I was at work a lot more than I was with Harlee, so I pumped more regularly.  It's definitely been a different experience.  I had to make sure I scheduled time between every two-three clients to sit and pump so I could keep my supply up.

I noticed when I started working out a lot more intensely that my supply seemed to start waning, and I was getting a bit nervous about it.  Then one day at personal training I got a charley horse in my leg and I suddenly remembered I had been forgetting to take my salt sole in the morning!  I started taking it again and that day and all the days following my milk supply increased more and more too - I'm definitely thinking there's a connection!  Yet another amazing benefit of balanced trace minerals in the body...


More Ways to Increase Supply


Salt Sole, which I mentioned above.

Fennel essential oil, which I used with success.  I diluted it with coconut oil and rubbed it on topically.

Mother's Milk tea is also a good option, but I'm not an avid tea drinker enough to be able to say whether I think that works for me or not.  It's worked for other moms though.

Fenugreek supplements are another good option, which is the primary component of the mother's milk tea.  I can't speak from personal experience, but I do know a few moms who took this with success.


How To Decrease Supply 


Peppermint essential oil.  It works like a charm.  I'll share the story about my final days of breastfeeding Elliot below, but basically the last couple days I was feeling slightly engorged as my body was still trying to keep up with night feedings, which weren't happening anymore.  I diluted some peppermint oil with coconut oil and rubbed it on where it was the sorest, and within minutes I was feeling relief.  That stuff will dry you up, so if you don't want that, then avoid it.


The Good...


Breastfeeding has some incredible health benefits for you and your child, and gives them such a great start to life.  There's no way I, personally, would have chosen not to do it.  You're passing along your antibodies to support your baby's developing immune system, as well as providing them with complete nutrition and beneficial fats, carbohydrates, and proteins to help them grow and develop.  There are a lot of good formulas on the market, but nothing holds a candle to the power of real breastmilk.

If you do need a good formula, I recommend Nature's One Baby's Only Organic Formula. A friend of mine told me about it, which she used for her baby, and I looked into it myself.  They promote it as a toddler formula because they encourage breastfeeding for the first year, but according to the company it can be used for infants and babies.  I really think this is one of the best products out there.  Please don't just feed your baby anything if you find you can't breastfeed.  That first year of their life is SO important as they develop, so nourishing them properly is HUGE.  Food is medicine, people.  I will say that over and over and over.  Feed your new developing baby the best, and give them the best start in life that you can.  They're fully dependent on you for that.

The Bad...


Now let's talk about the emotional aspect.  Sometimes (or most times) I can totally see why people choose not too.

'Cause at the same time as it's wonderful, it also kinda sucks.

This is just my personal opinion about it.  Not everyone thinks it sucks.  A lot of people absolutely LOVE it.  And I did have a lot of moments when I held my sweet little guy, feeding him with the nourishment that I produced, that MY body made for him, and was mystified by that bond and how incredible this experience actually is.  It's pretty amazing when you think about it. But that was only hit or miss in the comfort of my home.

There's still mixed feelings out there on the subject of nursing in public, and I like to respect the fact that it does make some people uncomfortable, so I'd either try to do it in private or I'd cover up (unless we're friends or relatives, in which case get over it :-)).  So that meant when my baby was hungry, I was either sitting all alone with him in an out-of-sight area feeling completely secluded and anti-social, or I'd be covered up and he's hot and uncomfortable and can't eat steadily and ends up causing me discomfort and then he's crabby and then I'm crabby and it just goes downhill from there.  Can't really win.

Then there's my husband, who meant well, but seemed to think that any time Harlee or Elliot was cranky or fussy that I should "give him some boob" (yeah that's the kind of crude language we use, don't judge! :-)).  Which means I'm expected to stop what I'm doing to see if that's what he really does want, and then I'm enslaved to the couch or wherever I happen to land with him.  And I feed on demand, I feel that's best when they're that little, I don't really believe you can "schedule" a baby with something like this.  But that makes things unpredictable.  Sometimes he eats all the time.  Sometimes not.  Do I have time to start laundry or dishes without getting interrupted? Can I have my friends over to work out without having to stop to take a nurse break? Can we go out to eat as a family and I can actually sit and enjoy a meal from beginning to end without at some point having a baby attached to me?

"Oh but it's such a beautiful bonding experience," they say.  "They're so precious, and what a miracle to be able to feed your baby with your own body, what amazing creatures we are!" they say.

Yeah yeah, I just said that a few paragraphs ago.  And yes, I would usually agree with that.  Like going to bed at night and all is quiet and he really is just so precious and we are bonding.  Or when I don't have things to do that I don't want interrupted. Or we're not out in public and I'm not distracted with the thought of "am I offending anyone?"

Once Harlee was on solids, I went down to only nursing him at home - at naptime, right before bed, if he'd wake up in the middle of the night, and first thing in the morning.  It was great, but there were moments when it was more of a nuisance.  And sure, I hear all the statistics of how we're supposed to nurse our babies until at least two, but I'm sorry, there ain't no way :-|.

I know I may risk getting judged for saying that, and I understand because I honestly used to judge people who wouldn't even TRY breastfeeding - I mean I know it's hard but it's sooooo good for your child.  But then a friend of mine voluntarily quit breastfeeding her daughter between 3-5 months (I can't quite remember the actual age).  She was stressed out with pumping at work, trying to balance it with her schedule, and maxed out.  It changed my outlook.  She shouldn't be expected to just suck it up because she's doing what's best for her child - no, in fact, finding ways to reduce stress in her life was what was best for her child, and if it meant breastfeeding had to go, then maybe it was better for her daughter to be on formula than stressed-out breastmilk.  I felt she was doing the right thing.  And I looked at the situation with a more open mind from there on out.

I'd still find myself placing a little judgement on people who didn't even try though.  Until I talked to a few more people and learned that they were just looking ahead realistically - it just wouldn't fit in their work schedule and made more sense if they just didn't even start, rather than risk stressing themselves out over it by trying to make it work.  I believe it's important for babies to have moms with as little stress as they can manage, and being a mom is so stressful it's ridiculous anyway (in my opinion), so I support moms when they recognize stress factors and do what they can to eliminate them.

And now, since being more of a working mom with Elliot than I was with Harlee, I totally saw breastfeeding as being a stressor more so than a joy.

Why didn't I stay at home more, since I have the liberty of making my own schedule?  Because I love my job and wanted to be there.  Being at home too much makes me crazy, which takes us back to the topic of stressed-out moms.  I took two months off after having Elliot.  I was definitely feeling a bit crazed by the end of it.  I wanted to be back in my own familiar environment, doing what I love, and feeling more connected to ME, which happens to be at work.  Some women are cut out to stay at home with their kids, and have the patience for it.  I am not one of those women.

Breastfeeding made me feel confined.  It made me feel stifled.  I don't do well in those kinds of situations.  

Drawing to a Close


I'm proud that I did it.  And I'm grateful that I could do it.  But I was also glad to be done, both times.  Harlee officially stopped nursing at 18 months, and I was glad to be done.  He conveniently started sleeping straight through the night at that point too... interestingly enough...  Elliot actually seemed to prefer solid food over breastmilk, and around 10 months old he started refusing bottles or cups of it when he was with babysitters.  I nursed him inconsistently until he was a year old, then went down to just naptime, bedtime, middle of the night, and upon waking in the morning.  Soon naptime phased out, then a couple of times when I was out late for whatever reason and Justin put him to bed, the bedtime feeding phased out.  He's now 15 months old and I'm no longer nursing him at all, and he's actually sleeping through the night now in his own bed.

The first two nights in a row of this, I started getting slightly engorged, as my body was still used to producing enough to feed him every night.  I was almost tempted to nurse him one last time, as the realization set in that this is it.  I'm done.  I'll never nurse a baby again.  I'll never cradle him in my arms and feed him the nourishment that I made myself, to help him grow, or to comfort him if he's upset.  He's a big boy now.

This was a slightly bittersweet feeling...  As I guess all ends of chapters are.  But definitely more sweet than bitter.  I didn't nurse him one last time.  I like that the relationship ended without me knowing it.  I rubbed the peppermint oil on, and moved forward.


Enjoying his "special" chocolate milk
I do have a lot of expressed milk stored up, which I give him occasionally mixed with almond milk and sometimes a little Barlean's Greens Chocolate Silk (he really doesn't like it plain, trust me, he gets really mad and makes horrible faces), so he's still getting something, but I'm free of the "shackles" that I felt breastfeeding was more often than not.   My stress levels are lower, I feel more like myself, more "normal", which makes me a happier person, and that, in my opinion, is what's most important for my kids.  I have no problem with breastfeeding for as long as you want.  I do have a problem with moms judging other moms about it.  And I do encourage moms to do what makes them the happiest, because that, ultimately, is what's best for their children.  This is how I personally feel about it, and I just wanted to be honest with you, and let you know it's okay to feel however it is you feel about it.  Do what you need to do to make you happy, and your kids will benefit from that.  And that's what makes you a great mom.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Candida, Yeast Infections, Thrush, Group B Strep, and All That Nastiness

Yeah, this is a nasty topic.  One that not many people want to discuss.  One that I tirelessly searched the internet for answers to and information about for a very long time several years ago.

A topic that I've fortunately been able to not have to think about for about three and a half years.  But now I do.  Because I'm in that boat again.  Yay.  Years ago, when I was in that boat last, I didn't really want to blog about it because of the TMI factor, but now, I remember how much time I spent searching desperately for answers, and instead of finding answers I found so many people on forums desperately searching for answers themselves.  So I'm just going to blog about it in the event that I'll help somebody who was as desperate as I was years ago.

I think I mentioned in a past post that I was blessed with a monthly yeast infection for lord knows how long (it was way too long.  Like a couple of years, I think.  I try to block that out of my memory because it was miserable.).  It was one of the driving forces behind me really avoiding Western Medicine.  I had been on several antibiotics for several different things back when I was about 17 years old (I think?) - I had gotten sick, then got an abscess tooth, etc., and then found out the hard way that I'm allergic to penicillin, which was pretty ugly, and that's about when the yeast infections started.  Every month, without fail.  I could have bought stock in Monistat or Miconazole.  Which, by the way, can potentially make yeast infections worse if used too frequently, as the yeast develop a resistance to it, but I was unaware of that at the time.  And to this day that stuff doesn't work for me.  I didn't even bother trying it this time, I knew it wouldn't do any good.

Our local massage therapist at the time had a LOT of knowledge on holistic and natural healing, and I finally went to her and told her my situation.  That's when I got to learn more about probiotics and the balance of bacteria in our guts.  This is the post I wrote about that, which I STRONGLY encourage you to read, and if you already read it before, go back and read it again as a refresher.  It's not a long one, so you're fine.  Click it - right now - do it.  Thank you.



Ah, welcome back to this post.  Okay so you're now aware of how important it is to have a good supply of beneficial/friendly bacteria in your gut.  It's the powerhouse of your immune system.  Antibiotics kill ALL the bacteria, and down goes your immune system.  Probiotics help rebuild the beneficial bacteria population.

I haven't been on antibiotics since I wrote that post about my UTI.  My boys have NEVER been on antibiotics.  Well, I take that back, Harlee had a mild one when he had surgery on his broken arm.  But you can bet I was bombarding him with probiotics to keep his immune system strong.

So what is my problem now, then?  I believe it's a few different factors.  I hadn't been eating as clean as I would like to, and Justin and I have been indulging in wine quite a bit in the evenings (makes for a nice date night at home!), so I feel like I've killed off a few good guys.  I haven't been taking probiotics regularly, and I know I need to.  Plus, I've been craving chocolate like it's do or die, and at times it's been such a strong addiction that I can't fight it - one time I stopped at a gas station just for a chocolate fix, got a bag of mini Twix and ate the whole thing in like 4 minutes.  It was awful.  I'm embarrassed to admit that.  That's actually the first time I admitted that to anybody... you should feel special. 

I feel like since I had so many issues before, my immune system will forever be slightly compromised.  I need to take extra special care of it.  I've learned a LOT about yeast since having my issues years ago, and it would be unfair of me to keep that information from everyone else who's desperately searching for answers to this miserable situation.

So, once this yeast infection hit, I understood where the cravings were coming from!  An overgrowth of yeast and an imbalance in the gut leads to unhealthy cravings, especially for sugar and carbs.  Yeast feeds off of sugar, so the more they grow, the more they want, and the more you crave.  It's a vicious cycle.  And it truly is an addiction, because it's part of you that you have no control over making decisions for you.  You can't fight it.  You can't say no.


Let's Break it Down:

Candida is a form of yeast, or fungus, that helps out with digestion and nutrient absorption in the intestines, and exists in our bodies in small amounts.  Candidiasis is a fungal infection caused by an overgrowth of candida, and it ain't pretty.  When there's too much candida, it can break down your intestinal walls and get into your blood stream, which of course leads to a lot of health issues.

Thrush is a yeast infection commonly found in the mouth and breasts.  Elliot is down to only nursing at night, but it's enough that he caught my infection, and both of us are suffering.  He nurses and then cries while playing with his mouth like it hurts, and I won't get into the pain I'm experiencing on my end.

Group B Strep is a bacteria often found in the vagina, rectum, and bladder of women.  It's not dangerous unless it's present during birth.  I didn't know much about it originally, but after testing positive for it when I was pregnant with Harlee I did some research and discovered that it's associated with candida, as that's the primary organism present when group B strep is present.  I was able to retest in two weeks after testing positive with Harlee at 36 weeks and, thanks to a strict regimen of all my candida-busting tricks I learned, I tested negative and was in the clear at 38 weeks.  I repeated the same regimen two weeks before testing during my pregnancy with Elliot, and tested negative right off the bat.  I'll get to how I did that in a bit.


A lot of people have a problem with yeast and bacterial imbalances in the gut.  Here's an excerpt from Mind Body Green: 10 Signs You Have Candida Overgrowth:
  1. Skin and nail fungal infections, such as athlete’s foot or toenail fungus
  2. Feeling tired and worn down, or suffering from chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia
  3. Digestive issues such as bloating, constipation, or diarrhea
  4. Autoimmune diseases such as Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, Rheumatoid arthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Lupus, Psoriasis, Scleroderma or Multiple sclerosis
  5. Difficulty concentrating, poor memory, lack of focus, ADD, ADHD and brain fog
  6. Skin issues like eczema, psoriasis, hives and rashes
  7. Irritability, mood swings, anxiety or depression
  8. Vaginal infections, urinary tract infections, rectal itching or vaginal itching
  9. Severe seasonal allergies or itchy ears
  10. Strong sugar and refined carbohydrate cravings

I know I certainly fit the bill for #s 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 10.  Big time.  How many of these signs do you currently have?

The #1 best way to beat candida (yeast overgrowth) is to cut out sugar COMPLETELY for at least two to three weeks, and if that's all you're doing to treat it, it could take three to six months.  And not just plain ol' sugar - ALL sugar - carbs too, meaning grains and legumes and starches - all your breads, pastas, beans, potatoes, everything.  Alcohol is also on that list, and so is dairy, as lactose is a form of sugar that can disrupt the system and hinder your progress.  You need a total, low-carb, clean diet.  But, if you're helplessly addicted to sugar in all its forms, thanks to the yeast overgrowth making you crave it, it may feel like it's next to impossible to do it.  But you have to.  It's the only way to beat this.  It takes willpower and determination like none other.

Here is a list of tips on how to beat candida, and also what I did to test negative for Group B Strep, and how I heal faster from yeast infections and thrush when it does occur (and how you can too!):

  • Cut out sugar.  Completely.  Like I just got done saying but it's so important that I have to repeat it.  Just get it in your head that you HAVE to do this for your health.  It's like any addiction.  It's bad for you, you know it, you know the more you indulge the worse your problem is getting, you feel like you NEED it, you can't live without it, but deep down you know that's not true.  Dig deep.  Remind yourself constantly that this is the way you're going to get back into good health.  No more itching, no more burning, no more searing pain.  Isn't missing out on the taste of a cookie or ice cream for now a fair trade for no more pain?  I think so.  If you can't cut out sugar, then don't read any further.  You're not going to have any luck.  Period.  You just aren't.  You just need to accept a miserable life of burning and itching and all the other problems associated with it.
  • Oh, you're reading on?  Good for you, congratulations on your choice to ditch sugar and move on with your life!  Maybe check into a 12-step program - I'm serious, cutting the sugar addiction is VERY VERY HARD.  Start getting excited about eating nothing but meat, vegetables, nuts, and seeds!
  • Probiotics.  You have to fuel the good bacteria and build them back up.  Take around 100 billion live cultures or more throughout the day.  You can find them in the refriderated section of your local health food store.  There's an excellent probiotic formula called FemDophilus that I highly recommend for any woman suffering from yeast infections, whether chronic or infrequent.  Another good product is HLC MindLinx capsules, which is a strain of probiotic that isn't normally included in conventional probiotic supplements, but can be very helpful in combating candida.  Take these two as well as your conventional probiotic from the health food store, and you should be smooth sailing.  By the way, you don't only have to take probiotics orally - you can use the capsules as a suppository overnight too.  Get those guys working directly on-site and bypass the digestive system!
  • Garlic is a very effective antifungal.  You can take it in supplement form or include the cloves in your food.  Another very effective way to use it (and to beat that burning and itching problem) is to thread a clove cut in half (to expose the good stuff) with dental floss or string for easy removal and use it as a suppository every night for about a week.  You'll smell like a pizzaria... but it's better than feeling miserable!  It cuts those symptoms out pretty quick, and if you're dealing with a yeast infection, you'll do ANYthing to free yourself from that nightmare.
  • Black Walnut is another very effective antifungal.  So effective, in fact, that one study showed it to fight candida better than most over the counter antifungal drugs.  You get this treatment in tincture form, which you can add to your water as directed and take it orally or soak a cotton swab and apply it topically followed immediately by coconut oil.  Goodbye itching and burning, almost instantly!  That is definitely a win.  This is one of my favorite treatments for immediate relief of symptoms.
  • Gentian Violet is an antiseptic purple dye that's used more as a treatment for thrush, which is usually an issue if you're breastfeeding.  It appears as white spots in baby's mouth, and while it isn't dangerous or anything to worry about, it is annoying and can be painful.  On mom's end, however, it's pretty awful.  I don't need to get into the gory details.  Gentian violet can be applied directly to the nipples and also in baby's mouth.  It stains everything purple so be careful with clothing!  And your baby will certainly look pretty funny with a purple mouth, but it seems to be very soothing upon application - both my boys have seemed happier after I applied it any time they had it (which fortunately wasn't that often, and just one time for Elliot).  While used primarily for oral thrush, it can be very helpful for vaginal yeast infections too, and most people (including myself) say it works better than any prescription treatment (and trust me, I've gone through plenty).
    Harlee at 3 months old sporting his purple mouth :-P
  • Boost the Immune System.  Your immune system will improve with a clean diet, so you're automatically getting that benefit by following step 1.  No refined carbs, no sugars, no processed foods = healthy body with a healthy system.  To help your immune system along, you can take supplements such as echinacea and goldenseal, vitamin C, olive leaf extract, cinnamon, and pau d'arco.  Just to name a few of my favorites.
  • Coconut oil has so many benefits I don't even know where to begin with it.  But in the case of candida, coconut oil is very soothing for that burning and itching (I apply it directly after applying the black walnut and that usually kicks symptoms right away), and it also contains caprylic acid, a fatty acid that is a strong antifungal that both kills candida and also restores balance to your stomach's pH.
  •  
I hope that helped!  Check out the links I shared throughout, as they link back to other helpful sites that you can get more information from.  But this list is everything I've tried and had great success with.  This time around, I only had a couple days of actual "suffering" - the first day it started until I got symptoms under control, and then a couple days later we went out to eat and while I had a salad, I wasn't thinking and got raspberry tea and I'm pretty sure the sugar in that flared it up again.  Other than that I've had mild to no symptoms, reminding me that I need to keep my diet in check, but reassuring me that everything is under control.  I plan to continue my no-sugar regimen with extra probiotics and garlic for another couple of weeks for sure, because I don't want to run the risk of this coming back (which I know it can!).  I'm happy to say I haven't used a single drop of a conventional Western treatment, yay!  I think that says a lot that I've had a better experience treating this situation naturally than I ever did treating it conventionally.  Mother Nature always looks out for us, and for that I am very thankful!