The Diary of a Pregnant Crossfitter - Part Five: Prioritizing Self-Care

I've been thinking about this topic quite a bit.  Especially on days like last Friday that turned into an all-out therapy day for me.  One of the appointments included a visit to my counselor, and this is actually one of the topics we discussed.

My whole week had a lot of elements of self-care in it, really.  I started out with a visit to my chiropractor on Monday, then went to get a Myofascial Release treatment in St. Louis that day.  Thursday I got my hair done - colored, high-lighted, freshened up, all that good stuff (I know that's not pregnancy-related, but it sure does feel good and calms my mind, plus makes me feel better about myself!).  And then Friday consisted of getting up bright and early to get another Myofascial Release treatment, followed by a visit to my counselor, followed by a craniosacral therapy treatment, followed by a great workout at Flex Fitness.  Full day!!  I do love having Fridays off, and it worked out great that Justin was off that day for Good Friday so he was able to be in charge of Harlee's whereabouts.

Having a husband who's supportive of me doing SO much to take care of myself throughout this pregnancy has been quintessential to the whole experience.  He knows how important it is to me to stay healthy and fit throughout this pregnancy, and ultimately how extremely important it is to me to make sure I do everything to try for a natural birth this time around.  He knows how scary it was for me to even entertain the idea of conceiving again, and I know how grateful he is that I agreed to give it one more shot.  This marriage and parenting thing is definitely a team effort, and being supportive of each other and on the same page throughout it all is key.

Financially it's been tricky at times, especially with building a house and all the great expenses that go towards it.  I decided to pay for as much as I can of all of my therapies and treatments out of my own pocket.  It helps when it comes to the natural guilt factor that creeps in every now and then.  But all along I've been determined to make this work, to make self-care a priority.  I had this same conversation with one of my chiropractors, too (yeah, I'm seeing two chiropractors).  She specializes in chiropractic care for babies, children, and pregnant women, so it was a no-brainer to see her throughout my pregnancy.  Coupled with the fact that she spent many years as a birth doula as well, and I feel I'm in good hands.  She had a cesarean with her first child and went on to have two more natural births after that, so she also knows exactly what I'm going through in the emotional aspect of all of this.  Having tragedy strike with the birth of your first child makes it very difficult and scary to find the courage to face the unknown of having another one.  She's been giving me a lot of first-hand advice, and when I first started seeing her during this pregnancy she stressed to me how important self-care is.  To get in all the necessary therapies I need to prepare my body for a natural birth and increase the odds that things will go smoothly, and to ignore any obstacles that try to prevent me from getting in all those therapies (like schedule, finances, etc.).  Just do what it takes to see all the necessary therapists for this pregnancy and don't take no for an answer - just go.  Make it part of my regular schedule, make it part of my regular budget, and just go.

So that's exactly what I've been doing, and I must say I've developed quite the team for myself throughout this pregnancy.  I think about the importance of each person in my life, helping me along the way, whether they realize how important they are to this process or not.

Here's who my team consists of:

My regular counselor, whom I've been seeing since I was still struggling with postpartum depression after having Harlee - she helped me find the way to get through that dark time in my life, and to build myself up stronger than I've ever been before.  I've continued to see her long after I felt I've truly healed from depression, mainly because I love the growth and progress I continue to make each time I talk with her.  She is absolutely someone I'm keeping close at hand throughout this pregnancy, especially as I near the end and old fears start resurfacing for me.

Also, as I've mentioned before, I have two chiropractors.  One is someone I've been seeing for awhile and I know her and trust her and have had a good experience with her thus far, and the other is the one I just spoke of, who specializes in prenatal care and has also worked as a doula.  See my post about chiropractic care to learn why this is such an important therapy for ANYbody, not just people with specific needs.

I also have a massage therapist whom I trade with.  I don't see her as often as I'd like since her schedule is super busy and she needs to prioritize self-care as much as anyone, but it helps tremendously when I do see her, plus she's got a great, strong energy about her that I find almost equally as therapeutic as her massage.

My chiropractor recommended I get craniosacral therapy, which is very gentle work with the cranium and sacrum and helps guide the body to achieve better balance and alignment (which is of huge importance to me since it's the fact that I was not balanced and aligned that got Harlee stuck and unable to pass through for birth, and I don't want to put Elliot in the same position as his brother).  I found a craniosacral therapist by pure intuition - I did a search online and tuned into my heart and instincts to find one that felt right, and I came across a woman in the Richmond Heights area that felt like someone I needed to look into.  She's only 20 minutes away from my counselor, too, so working out a way to see both of them in one day made traveling to all these appointments a lot easier.  Turns out my intuition was spot on - she's an energy worker and one of only two therapists in the St. Louis area that offers a therapy called "Trauma Touch", where she works with the body to release energy build-up that has become stagnant and depleted as a result of past traumas.  She's helped me learn how to tune into my body and its energy flow in ways I hadn't done before, and being in tune with your body is a HUGE necessity, I believe, when it comes to birth and then all the years of parenting after that.  I've found places where I'm blocked, which I feel correlate to Harlee's birth and could affect Elliot's if I don't work to release it or heal it.  Her craniosacral work is amazing as well - I'm not sure how to even describe it - but I almost feel like I'm in an altered state of consciousness when I'm in a session with her.  It's pretty cool.

Another product of Divine Intervention is a physical therapist I found at a place called the Myofascial Treatment Center.  This place is right next door to the counselor I see, and I've always wondered about it.  I had an introduction to Myofascial Release when I was in massage school and already saw the amazing benefits of what it can do for overly tight, locked-up muscles.  I finally checked out their website and gave them a call, explaining what I had already learned from my prenatal chiropractor - that I had some torsion in my pelvis that needed to be corrected in order to help me achieve a natural birth when the time comes.  My low back pain was starting to get stronger, too, so I was hoping this therapy would help me.  I went in for an assessment and evaluation and found that yes, one hip was rotated down and the other was rotated up, and my legs and knees were rotated medially (inwards).  This was causing a lot of strain pulling on my low back, and at the next session she dove right into breaking free the connective tissue of my IT bands (outer thighs), quads, adductor muscles (on the inner thighs), and piriformis (a small hip rotator muscle in the buttocks).  I floated out of there like I'd never walked before, completely unable to even feel the weight of pregnancy!  It was an amazing feeling!  I've gone back for several more sessions, and have been trying to stay diligent about doing the stretches and exercises she asked me to do at home.  I've been seeing her twice a week, which can definitely tie up the schedule, but I'm determined.  Seeing this much change in just a single session has got me motivated to make it work in my schedule, no matter what.

Then, of course, I can't leave out my personal trainer, he's definitely part of my team too.  Regular exercise has become HUGELY important during this pregnancy.  I've tried to stay on top of crossfit at least once or twice a week, and I do personal training twice a week as well.  I've been staying strong, and my stamina and endurance throughout the day has stayed strong as well.  Fatigue was a big issue I had to deal with while pregnant with Harlee, as it is with most pregnant women, but this time I've rarely felt fatigued or tired.  I can count maybe two or three days out of the whole second trimester that I felt more tired than usual, but that usually tied in with going to bed late and getting up too early.  I'm not counting the first trimester because your body changes so much during that time that ANYthing can happen beyond your control - fatigue, morning sickness, weird aches and pains, mood imbalances, you name it.  Whether you're working out or eating healthy or whatever, some things are just out of your control.  You've begun to grow a human, after all, you can't expect to not experience any major changes!  Working out has definitely been keeping me sane, too - my moods are in check, I feel good about myself, and not only do I feel strong and energized, I feel healthy too.  It helps keep me motivated to stay healthy too.

Which brings me to another element of self-care that I'm in charge of on my own.  Diet.  My pregnancy with Harlee came with so many cravings, as do most pregnancies, but I chose to succumb to them.  Ice cream?  Sure!  Macaroni and cheese three meals a day?  Don't mind if I do!  I've mentioned all the terrible results of that, though.  High blood pressure, mood problems worse than what I would consider average or normal, and weight gain (as you saw in my last post, and I'll post a few more before and after pics at the end of this post 'cause it entertains me).  Sure I get cravings this time, and sure I'd LOVE to eat macaroni and cheese every day again, but I've really stayed in control of my diet.  I've found what works for me before, and I'm sticking to that.  Little to no grains, no sugar, and plenty of fruits and vegetables and a good variety of meats - beef, pork, chicken, fish, venison.  I try to make as much as I can by hand - salad dressings, snacks, desserts - and when I go out to eat I really try to be careful, getting salads or burgers/sandwiches wrapped in lettuce rather than with a bun.  I don't touch preservatives or artificial ingredients, and if I do it's because it sneaked into a salad dressing when I go out to eat.  I feel amazing.  And if I do eat anything that I try to avoid, like breads or sugars, my system is not happy with me.  Oh just wait til I write a post about swelling and water retention too!  I'm in the midst of an experiment with that, so once I get further in the pregnancy I'll know a little more that I can share with you.

So that's my self-care regimen.  Of course I do take prenatal vitamins and supplements (when I remember), mostly Juice Plus and cod liver oil and some other stuff, but I've actually not taken a conventional "prenatal" supplement.  I started doing that at first (a healthy one, by the way - not a synthetic poison one that you get from a pharmacy or from brands like Centrum or One-A-Day) but it just didn't agree with my stomach.  So I gave up and put my own prenatal vitamin combo together on my own.

How the heck am I making all this work in my life?  We built a house, moved into it, Justin's working crazy hours, we're raising a two-and-a-half-year-old, I'm running a business, and then ALL this other stuff on top of it?  Chiropractor appointments ever week to two weeks, massages every other week, craniosacral every other week, myofascial release twice a week, exercising 3-4 times a week, counseling once a month, not to mention prenatal appointments starting out from once a month to once every two weeks... That's a lot!!

But ya know what, I think it works because my mind feels healthy and strong.  I feel happy and good about myself.  Everything I've been doing for myself has drastically reduced my stress levels, which makes it a lot easier to manage my time and to stay motivated to stick with it.  Every time I come out of any of these appointments, I feel great, better than I did coming in.  I'm crazy busy, but it's all in very good ways.  I've made it all work in my schedule because I was determined to make it work.  And when life got a little hectic with the big move into the new house, sure I missed a few days of working out, and I had to reschedule some of my appointments and postpone them, but I jumped right back into it as soon as we were settled.  I'm not giving up.

And I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with myself once this pregnancy is over and I won't need all these therapies as regularly, if at all, anymore....  haha who am I kidding?  I'll have a newborn, I'll be even busier yet!

Make yourself and your health care a priority, that's my advice to anybody, not just the pregos.  Although pregnancy is a VERY important time of your life to make your health a priority.  You're carrying life, and about to bring it into the world - a completely helpless human being that's 100% reliant on you.  Keep yourself healthy, and in turn you keep your baby healthy.  It's a win-win, and a no-brainer, really.  I'm not saying do as much as I've been doing - I'm just doing what I feel is right for me.  But I do recommend seeing a Webster certified chiropractor as your main priority, get massages as often as you can fit them in, and exercise in whatever ways feel healthy for you (and if you've been exercising a certain way up until you got pregnant - keep it up!  Your body is used to it and can greatly benefit from sticking with it!).

And here's a little before and after entertainment for us all :).  On the left is me practicing for turkey season in March 2011, about 27 weeks along, and the right (and bottom two) are in March of this year, also about 27 weeks along.  Deadlifting 175lbs (my last PR was 205lbs before I got pregnant, so I'm proud that I can still lift 175 without feeling strains in the wrong places!).

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

The Diary of a Pregnant Crossfitter: Part Four - Self-Confidence

I have a couple of topics I could talk about - self-confidence during pregnancy, and also self-care (both during and outside of pregnancy).  Self-confidence is a topic fresh on my mind, though, so I decided to write about it.  Mainly because Derek (owner/trainer at Flex Fitness) and I had a conversation about it today and how it's something EVERYone deals with in some way or another, but when you're pregnant it's a whole different can of worms.

Self-confidence is probably something most, if not all, of us pregnant gals struggle with.  It's something I've been trying to avoid, but I guess it's inevitable in the society we live in.  The media pushes flat bellies and toned abs and here we pregos are with this giant round thing protruding off of us.

Since Elliot began making his presence known in the form of a happy little bump on my belly, I've been making a conscious effort to say, "Elliot is gaining weight," or, "Elliot is getting bigger."  Not, I'm gaining or growing.  It makes me feel better when I get on the scale and see the numbers beginning to rise after spending the last two and a half years trying to get them to drop.  I'm telling ya, it messes with your head!  For awhile it wasn't bothering me, I still felt good - I'd go work out, complete a WOD, and feel like a champ because I just did that shit pregnant, boom!  But, Elliot is growing.  My rib cage is expanding to make room for all the organs he's kindly shoving up out of his way, my boobs are getting bigger to get ready to feed him, and I'm beginning to feel like EVERYTHING on me is big.  Which, like I said, messes with my head after I worked SO HARD to melt all that excess body fat.  I find myself vainly studying myself in the mirror - is my face fuller?  Are my arms thicker?  Losing their tone?  Are my legs and butt flabby?

What is this?  This is exactly what I was trying to AVOID.  When I got pregnant and made it my goal to stick with crossfit throughout the entire pregnancy, I also made it a goal to try to keep my thoughts as positive as possible.  It's helped to go back through pictures from when I was pregnant with Harlee and just compare and contrast.  As I was doing that, though, I started browsing through all the pictures I took as he grew up, and all the life events we experienced.  Postpartum was not the best time in my life, and I hope to never go back there.  But the transformation I pushed myself through afterwards was pretty awesome, now that I look back on it.  I'm trying to applaud myself for the hard work I did.  But I remember last year, getting ready to go to Mexico for our friends' wedding, and having a lot of anxiety about buying two-piece swim suits.  I had started personal training at Flex in April and, while I had experienced great results already, I was not quite where I wanted to be.  So I was still hard on myself, and down on myself, and so knit-picky about this flaw on my body and that flaw on my body, to the point where I wasn't really fully enjoying the results I had already experienced.  So recently I looked back on pictures of myself from back then, and I was amazed at how good I did look!  And I remembered feeling self-conscious about myself, which led me to think, "Wow, how sad that I was so self-conscious, that I couldn't feel proud of myself for how much progress I made, or see how good I already looked despite the goals I still hadn't met."  It took me a year to be able to look back on that progress I had made and appreciate the hard work I had done.  How would I feel at this present moment if I could feel that appreciation NOW rather than a year later?  Instead of feeling self-conscious and insecure now, I could feel proud that I've been doing so well, that I look so much better during this pregnancy than I did during Harlee's?  Sure, I still have goals to meet, I'm not perfect, but I'm doing well regardless.  I've been working hard.  What good is it to work so hard if you can't feel good about the accomplishments achieved?

And then I wonder, why am I so worried about looks anyway?  Why do I get so worked up about this stuff?  I should be more focused on health, not looks.  I had blood pressure issues last time I was pregnant.  I should be focusing on eating healthy and keeping my blood pressure under control this time, and it has been - it's been awesome at each prenatal check-up - I should be more focused on feeling proud of that, right?  And I felt so fatigued last time, and this time I feel great!  I should feel proud of that too, right?  And all the changes my body is going through, causing strains and stresses on different joints - I'm seeking appropriate therapies to relieve those issues and doing the exercises and stretches they prescribe me so I don't have to suffer like I did last time, and it's working - I should be proud of myself for that, right?

Of course I should.  But more so than how I feel about my looks, right?

Probably.  But Derek made a good point about that, too, during our conversation.  It's a simple point, but something we probably don't think about often enough.  Or at least I don't.  That looking good makes us feel good, and when we feel good, our health is positively affected by that.  It all goes hand-in-hand.  If we feel good about our bodies and how we look outwardly, it makes us feel better inwardly.  If we're down on ourselves about how we look outwardly, and criticize our bodies and dislike everything about them, then our bodies will respond to that criticism, and eventually be as inwardly unhealthy as we feel outwardly.  I really do believe our thoughts create our realities.  It is important to feel good about ourselves, especially how we look - our outward appearance is what the rest of the world sees, and if you feel strong and confident in how you look, then the rest of the world will most likely see a strong and confident person when they look at you, too.

So, I'm going to keep being vain, I'm going to keep studying myself in the mirror, but I'm going to try my best to be kind and gentle about it.  I've been working hard, managing to keep going to Flex despite all the craziness of building a house and running a business and chasing a two-and-a-half-year-old all while my husband is working long hours, so I should feel good about all the hard work I've been doing.

I think that's something that everyone working towards a goal should keep in mind.  Focus on how far you've come, not how far you have to go.  That way you can look at yourself now and feel proud and accomplished and good about yourself, rather than looking back a year later and wishing you had seen in the mirror what you see in the pictures.


Here's a lil before and after action for ya... Same stage in pregnancy, about 23ish weeks, the top is my pregnancy with Harlee, the bottom two are with Elliot.  So glad I'm working out...

Painting Harlee's room - March 2011

Back squatting 115 lbs - March 2014

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

My Crazy Life Update and Paleo Blueberry Muffins

Hello strangers!  This new house has completely consumed me and all my time.  Okay so the new house, my kid, my job, and stabilizing my own sanity have completely consumed me and all my time, but the new house is probably taking the brunt of it.  So blogging, unfortunately, has not consumed any of my time.  I miss it a lot, I must say.  We spent our first night in the new abode on March 22nd, exactly 8 months to the date since we staked out the land where we'd break ground the next day, so that timing was pretty cool!

Breaking ground, July 22nd, 2013

With that first night and the days and nights following came a whirlwind of packing, cleaning, moving, cleaning, unpacking, cleaning some more, unpacking some more, sorting, thinking, "Do we really need some of this crap?", meeting with more subcontractors for the smaller things like finishing our shower and vanities, getting our gas tank buried, measuring for mirrors, and then also doing our own finishing touches like putting up light fixtures, toilet paper holders and towel racks, installing shelves in the master closet, staining the deck and patio doors as well as the stairs and railing and then varnishing all of that, etc., etc., etc.  It's been just a little bit hectic.  On top of the fact that Justin's been working long hours at least an hour and a half from home (and commuting that every day) so his help has been limited, and I've been swamped at my own job too (which is good because I need to stock pile those hours before I take maternity leave in June!).  My stress levels have been tested to their limits, that's for sure.  Thank goodness for our parents right now - with my in-laws watching Harlee while we work and my parents helping us pack and move and then unpack and install things, saying we're grateful is an understatement.  The stress and craziness has all been worth it, though - I am in love with our new house.  Designing it from scratch has made it even more rewarding, too, now that the pictures of floor plans I scribbled out years ago have become reality.  Someday I'll have to sit down and sort through pictures and tell the tale of the building experience from beginning to "end" (are you ever really done when you take on a project like this?).  But I need time to do that.  And I'm a bit short on that right now.

For example, I made these blueberry muffins over a month ago in the old house, and I'm FINALLY finding the time to post the recipe.  I also made a new and improved (and husband/child approved) cauliflower pizza crust, carrot cake muffins, and barbeque sauce (followed by a recipe I made with it for pork chops using pineapples and bell peppers).  All of which were simple recipes because I don't have much time to piddle around with anything extravagant!  I decided to post this one because it's actually not even my recipe - I stole it from Pinterest - so I can just copy and paste it for you like the old days when I was just starting out with Paleo and wanted to simply share my delicious finds before I started making my own creations.  These muffins turned out amazing, so I intend to use this recipe for all my future muffin creations, like the carrot cake muffins I made, and eventually I'd like to play around with apple cinnamon, peach cobbler, chocolate raspberry, etc.

But for now, we've got these, and they are quite delicious.  I spread some butter on them hot out of the oven, and they actually reminded me of the Pillsbury blueberry muffins my mom would make when I was younger (which are sooooo yummy and probably equally as bad for you...).

Like all almond flour creations, these freeze really well, making them a perfect quick breakfast for those rushed mornings.  Just pop it in the microwave and you're good to go!


So, without further ado, here's the recipe, shamelessly stolen from Robin's Sweet Confessions:

2 1/2 cups almond flour
3 large eggs
1/2 cup honey
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen

Preheat oven to 300°.
Line a 12 cup muffin pan with muffin cups
In a large bowl, mix all ingredients together, except blueberries, until full combined. Gently fold in blueberries.
Fill each liner 3/4 full with batter.
Bake for 30-40 minutes.
Cool for about 5 minutes, then remove and enjoy!