The next year I was pregnant, my overalls didn't fit over my large belly, but I was a trooper - we heard turkeys off in the distance, walked all over God's creation trying to find a field "nearby" that they may be hanging out in, with no luck, and lots of blisters on my feet. Then Justin shot a turkey the next day.
The year after that I had baby Harlee and wasn't even going to bother trying to find someone to keep him overnight so we could go out. Justin got a turkey that year too. Now this year Harlee is easier to keep overnight, so we lined up Justin's mom to watch him Sunday night and we went Monday morning, and my grandma kept him Wednesday night so we went Thursday morning. The whole week prior, Justin would go straight to the hunting ground from work (he was on night shift) to see what was out there. And every time he went out there he saw TONS of turkeys. Sweet, this was going to be my year, finally! So Monday morning came, we got all set up in the dark, and I waited, and waited... listened to owls hoot, and nothing (turkeys usually gobble in response to an owl call, so I've been told...). He called, nothing. The sun came up, and didn't even hear anything in the distance. What the heck?? Ugh, I was so let down. We decided to walk. He dragged me through the woods, through the creeks, up and down hills, through briar patches, I was getting blisters again, I was tired, I was sore, all I could think about is if we DID get a bird at this point, we'd have to carry the thing BACK all this way. Ugh, I just wanted to go home. I could feel my energy dropping as though it were on a meter, getting lower and lower... On the way back to the truck my shoulders were slumped and I was just done. I figured tomorrow Justin would shoot one, too. That's just how it goes. Lately I've not been a very negative person, but this time, I was the epitome of negative. I told Justin, screw Thursday, I wasn't going back out. Later I decided I would go out, only if we went to our farm instead of way out in the middle of nowhere like we had been. It was weird, though - all the way back to the truck, I felt like this was supposed to be some sort of life lesson that I was completely missing the point of.
The next night I had a client who is a hunter, and he asked me how our first day of turkey hunting went, and I didn't hold any of my negativity back. I told him it sucked, didn't see anything, after a whole week or more of Justin going out and seeing tons of them in the exact same spot. Didn't even hear any in the distance. It's like they KNOW that I'M there and they leave just out of spite. I told him I wasn't cut out to do this hunting thing, and I was going to toss in the towel. He said don't give up - in fact, don't even go out there for the turkeys. Go out to enjoy nature. How often do we get to do that, anyway? Out there in the woods, there aren't any people, there aren't any bills, any debts, any jobs to get to or responsibilities to take care of. Just nature. The natural world working the way the natural world works. He said to enjoy that - breathe it in, because it's no often you get to. Don't look for turkeys, look at everything else out there - the squirrels, the rabbits, the whole array of other birds in the trees and the sky. Just take it all in and enjoy the solitude. Feel the world wake up. There's nothing like being part of the world waking up.
I took that to heart. He was right. And heck, I sure needed an escape from my hustle and bustle life. So I told Justin that Thursday morning, I'd go back out to the middle of nowhere with him, only this time I wasn't going turkey hunting. I was going to meditate. "Okay," he said. I breathed with every step in the dark, all the way to the edge of the woods where we were going to set up at. I took in the night, the dark blue sky against the black silhouettes of the trees, the silence except for the wind. I listened to what it sounded like to not hear any cars going by, any man-made sounds except our footsteps. He whispered as he pointed to a tree, "This is where we'll sit," and I whispered back, "Looks like a great place to meditate." And we sat. And I took it all in. Felt the night breeze, listened to it in the leaves, felt the drops of the leftover rain in the trees. It was nice. For once I allowed myself to appreciate it. I was living in the moment, for the moment, not worried about the future at all. And then we heard a loud gobble that made my heart skip. It came from the tree RIGHT BEHIND us. It was every bit as loud and strange as the other hunters I've spoken to described it to be. And then the woods came alive with it as the sun started coming up. Gobbling from all around us, and I heard the hens clucking too, that soft gentle cluck that I was told they do when they just start waking up. All this stuff I've been told about, I was finally getting to experience! The sun came up enough for us to see the birds in their roosts in the trees, and I could watch the one behind us gobble again. It was pretty cool. Way cooler than I expected it to be. I actually felt giddy, and not just because I might have an opportunity to shoot, but because I finally got to experience it. The one behind us took flight from his roost and flew right over our heads and landed in the field in front of us. I drew my gun and set my scope on him, watching as a jake and a hen joined him. My heart was racing, we waited for them to get in a better position, but they moved away from us and disappeared out of sight. I think Justin was disappointed for me, and probably afraid that I'd be bummed again for missing out on getting to shoot. But this time, it wasn't about that. I was totally okay with not getting to shoot. I got the experience, and it was definitely a really cool experience.
It wasn't until a couple days later that the lesson finally clicked with me. Just surrender. Let go, let it be. When you go into a situation expecting it to be a certain way, you get so focused on the assumed outcome that you miss the journey, and when the outcome doesn't turn out the way you expect, it's a million times more disappointing. Ha, I've definitely been down that road once before... But going into an situation without any thoughts on the outcome, but just a desire to experience the journey, is much more rewarding. And it's amazing how life just flows in your favor when you meet it without resistance and don't try to fight the current. Just go with the flow.
Hopefully this helps some of your, or most of you, in whatever situations you may find yourself in right now or in the future. Take life in stride, don't worry about the outcome, but focus on the good things in the present moment. Everything works out for the best in the end.
No comments:
Post a Comment